Self Leadership Coaching Blog

We now take for granted our ability to share ideas, opinions and facts instantaneously and across borders,  but prior the the early 1980’s this was not possible. See an old  CBC news report on the birth of the internet.

In 1984 the number of internet devices was 1000, in 1992, 1,000,000 and in 2008, 1000,000,000!

To reach an audience of 50 million it took Radio 38 years, Tv 13 years, iPod 3 years and Facebook 2 years!

In 2007 there were 2.7 Billion Google queries/month in 2008 31 Billion! Who did we ask those questions BG (before  Google)?

And the internet is changing our lives in other ways; in 2007 one in eight couples who married in the USA met on the internet!

It is so easy to take the internet for granted and Gen Y have never lived without it – and people ask the question , “what’s next?”

The other question is, “what remains the same?”

People still need to exercise self leadership, they still need to communicate effectively and influence others; they still need to learn, grow and find meaning and happiness in what they do. Thankfully the internet helps us to find the resources to do these things.

When I speak about leadership at a conference or workshop, I often talk about my children, Tasha (3 1/2) and Nathan (22 months). This is for a couple of reasons, firstly and selfishly because I am a proud father, secondly because it builds rapport with the audience and thirdly and most importantly because they are good examples of leadership and influence principles. In this blog post I wanted to share 3 such leadership principles.

1. Modeling Behaviour

Every parent knows that children are great mimics, they watch you like a hawk and duplicate your behaviour. This can be amusing, as when Tasha first started painting her nails after watching my wife or Nathan picking up my tennis racket and saying, “like daddy.” The dark side of this modeling is when children mimic the aggressive behaviour of adults, which was demonstrated by  Dr. Albert Bandura with the Bobo Doll experiment and is evidenced in war torn areas of the world where children carry weapons.

Adults to0 model behaviour which is why the leaders of any team or organisation must “walk the talk”, they must be the model for the behaviours they wish to see duplicated. Talk is cheap – action is real.

2. Validation

Both Tasha and Nathan like to clap themselves when they do something right and they both beam when Zurina and I give them praise. As a leadership consultant I know how important it is that I continue to praise even moderately good performance as research by Dr Ethna Reid shows that teachers who get the best results, validate regularly. Successful teachers also alternate between teaching and questioning (testing) for comprehension.

In leadership and management in a hectic paced world it is all too easy to criticise poor performance and to tell rather than ask. In our leadership for managers program, we emphasise and rehearse the arts of validation and asking good questions.

3. Story Telling

Children love stories and interpret our cultural moral code from those stories. Tasha knows who are the good princesses (coutesy of Disney) and who is the evil queen, Nathan is learning from Thomas the Tank Engine that when you break the rules you go off the rails, he even exclaims very loudly “oh no!” when this happens.

Effective leaders also tell stories that let their followers know what the vision and culture of the organisation is. These stories get retold and strongly influence the behaviour of the team or workforce. When I was teaching coaching skills at Singapore Airlines I noticed how they regularly used stories of  exemplary customer service to validate and reinforce the behaviour of going the extra mile service (GEMS).

Perhaps you have other Leadership Principles you have learned from children – feel free to share.

The NEW Self Leadership International website is now LIVE.

It works great in Firefox, and Explorer bugs such as blog feeds are being fixed as I write this post. On the website you will find all the information you need on our Leadership Development, Business Communication, Executive Coaching and Self Development programs. Continue Reading »

If you give enough presentations, there’s a good chance that someday you’re going to find yourself the target of an uncooperative or hostile audience member. As in most crisis situations, you will be in good stead to have a plan of how to respond. There are many verbal techniques available which will help you handle hostile or difficult audiences, some of which I am able to outline here. These are all tried and tested over the course of the last 10 years during my own personal training and presentation courses. Use them with confidence – they really work! Continue Reading »

Quick pop quiz: In the last 48 hours have you experienced significant levels of frustration, fatigue, muscle tension, irritability, anger, cynicism, negativity or a feeling of being out of control?

All of these are signs of STRESS.

Success in today’s fast-paced and ever-changing environment requires the ability to effectively manage our own stress in the face of an increasing number of stressors. Continue Reading »

Every executive knows that they must have a vision and mission statement but in times of crisis these important documents can be forgotten.

It is a bit like if you were in a boat and have set your course, but the boat springs a leak and you spend your whole time bailing water and have no time to steer.

William Bridges created a model of change and transition that is highly relevant in today’s financial readjustment. Continue Reading »

Listen to a Podcast on the the Power of Influence.

Have you ever wondered why some people get what they want and others don’t?

Can I make a suggestion?

Remember a time when you really wanted something; something you couldn’t have right away but something you would have to wait for, you pictured it in your head, you imagined what it would feel like to possess it and you could feel the pull.

Continue Reading »

Communication skills are the glue that holds together relationships and the oil that lubricates business and sales.

Good communication skills are essential to lead yourself and influence others. Poor communication causes pain, conflict, loss of productivity and profit.

Listen to a  podcast on Communication Skills. Continue Reading »

Is their a difference between leadership and management? Can managers lead and can leaders manage?

These are perennial questions in the field of leadership development and the answers vary depending on who you talk to.

The concept of a leadership pipeline is that as we start supervising/managing we will be more transactional (performance management) and as we move up through the organisation we will become more transformational (visionary/inspiring). Continue Reading »

With the way today’s organisations are structured you probably work as part of team, even if it is a virtual one. Working in a team means getting work done with, through, and for others – and the thing about other people, is that they are different! It is this difference that makes team work both exciting and frustrating.

An important realisation when working in a team is that the way you perceive and respond to the world (your personality) is NOT the “Right Way” or “The Only Way” to do things. This realisation reduces our frustration and opens us to the possibility of collaboration rather than compromise.

The team work cycle highlights the need for different personalities. Continue Reading »