Self Leadership Coaching Blog

I recently had a challenging situation in the office, with a colleague of mine. Because we had only been working together for a short time and our personalities were quite different, we ended up struggling in our communication: I preferred to be direct and to the point, she liked to also have a friendly chat and spend time getting to know each other.

Obviously, because of  our differences in communication styles we ended up having some very heated conversations. We both felt upset and not understood by the other which created a tension in the office. Continue Reading »

Do you know your strengths?
Do you operate from your strengths?

Research has shown that only about one-third of people are aware of their strengths and the management guru, Peter Drucker said that we can only lead from strengths.

A common approach in management and  leadership development has been to measure the gap between a person’s behaviour and the desired corporate competencies; whilst this approach is valid it can downplay the application of a person’s strengths.

My top strengths are; love of learning, humor, zest, perseverance, honest, open-mindedness and perspective. I know this because I have taken a test based on the research of Dr Martin Seligman and Dr Christopher Peterson.

Seligman and Peterson’s research has found six broad categories of the best of human behaviours (virtues) that are intrinsically valued across time and cultures. Seligman and Peterson suggest that these virtues may even be biologically linked in terms of survival of the species. Within each virtue category are strengths that we all demonstrate to a greater or lesser extent.
 The list is as follows:

There is a natural tendency to consider those strengths that you don’t score highly on as weaknesses but, unlike talents, strengths can be built up.

My lowest scoring strength is modesty ( for those of you who know me this is no surprise) and yet this does not mean I am not modest in some circumstances and with the awareness of this I can build it as a strength.

Positive Psychology researchers are now validating interventions to build strengths and the work is ongoing. This has major ramifications for the field of leadership development as we can know with certainty as to how to build up individuals and teams.

At Self Leadership International we have already started to build this research into our coaching and programs. A popular activity is a partner exercise in which each party listens to a success story told by the other and reflects back the strengths that they heard. The result of this exercise are profound in that colleagues who have known each other for some time get a deeper understanding of each other and managers learn to better delegate and build up their teams rather than jump to criticism.

Posted from Singapore 27/10/2010

I have just experienced three transformational days at the first Asia Pacific Coaching Conference held in Singapore, and before I share my learning’s and take-aways I wanted to publicly acknowledge Foo See Luan and Nancy Hughes Verhoeven and their team of dedicated individuals for bringing together 300 coaches from across the region to talk, listen, learn and collaborate.

The theme of the conference was ‘Coaching for Sustainable Mulitcultural Communities’ and the attendees were certainly diverse; I met fellow coaches from Japan, Korea, Taiwan, China, Australia, India, Brazil, USA, Norway and of course Singapore. Continue Reading »

This weekend I watched a magician enthral an audience with his art. As he performed his sleight of hand and misdirection I wondered at the thousands of hours he must have invested to achieve mastery.

 Mastery involves focus, concentration, passion, intention, commitment, and discipline.  We can’t achieve mastery in everything in fact most people are unlikely to achieve mastery in anything as they dabble in this and hack about at that. Continue Reading »

I recently engaged in an online dialogue on, sex, politics and religion. The person who started the post made the comment that we should NEVER talk about these topics.

Now I understand where the writer was coming from;talking about  sex, politics and religion can break rapport, create conflict and ruin the career of the unwary but I have a different perspective. As humans, sex, politics and religion play a significant part of our lives and the biases and meanings we bring to these topics will significantly affect our behaviour; so to not talk about them can be equally dangerous. Continue Reading »

How do you know when your employees are feeling disengaged or demotivated?

The following behavioural markers should give you a clue:

• Following the letter of the instruction rather than the spirit as evidenced by, ‘But you didn’t tell me to do X” when X was implied by the instruction and necessary to the completion of the task.
• Going early and coming late, using up all sick days and even taking unpaid leave days. Days off are mostly on a Monday or Friday.
• Increase use of social media, youtube and instant messaging at work.
• Silence – not contributing to discussions or dialogues.

When I am conducting workshopswithin an organisation I hear the following complaints from dis-empowered of demotivated employees:

• “My boss doesn’t listen.”
• “Why isn’t my boss here as he needs to hear this stuff?”
• “Why don’t senior management do what it says in the value statement?”
• “I can’t influence head office in USA/Europe and they make unreasonable demand on my time and resources.”

Motivated and enaged employees are more creative and productive; disengaged employees will lose customers, money and have more accidents at work. Therefore to re-engage employees you should talk to your staff and listen to the answers. Ask questions like;

• “What do you like best about working here?”
• “What do you like least about working here?”
• “What would you change if you could?”

Of course if you ask these questions you must be prepared to do something about the answers otherwise it will increase cynicism.

And what if you are feeling de-motivated and disengaged? Then get back in touch with what your work means to you above  and beyond the paycheck. What about your work gives you an intrinsic sense of achievement? Ask yourself, “if this was my company, how would I behaving?” Above all look for the fun and pride in what you do because your work is an extension of who you are (see posts on Self Leadership).

Managers and leaders are ultimately responsible for the results that they achieve through people, it is therefore essential that they understand the principles involved in raising the performance of their people and teams.

The formula in the above diagram that brings the essential components into focus and causes us to realise that if; expectations, ability or attitude are at zero then results will be too. Continue Reading »

Coaching, circ. 1984

As part of my study of leadership and business, I recently read a classic— Tom Peters’ 1985 book, A Passion for Excellence: The Leadership Difference.  This book followed his best selling book on great companies, Search for Excellence (1982).  By the time I read over 300 pages, I knew that I was going to use a number of quotes on “coaching.”  Then I turned the page to Chapter 18.  It has a one line title, Coaching. Continue Reading »

2009 could be associated with many negative emotion; fear, anxiety, uncertainty, regret etc. This is not all bad because emotions have ‘motivational consequences’. If we view our emotions as a feedback system, we can use the information to change our behaviours or make better choices. Continue Reading »

Happy Holidays to all our readers – whether you celebrate this holiday as religious festival or just get caught up in the spirit of goodwill.

Spend your Money like a Wise Man

If you want to be happy this Christmas you may or may not be surprised that research proves that spending money on other people increases happiness. Continue Reading »