Self-leadership

It should be no surprise that as the author of a Self Leadership blog that I think it is critical that Senior Managers begin to master their Self-leadership. Self-motivation, Self-direction and Self-regulation enable the manager to ‘walk the talk’ and be a positive influence to those that they lead.

Transformational Leadership

Much of management is transactional; setting goals, giving feedback and achieving business objectives. A senior manager must continue to do these things whilst also being transformational. Transformational leadership is about creating and communicating a vision of “What can be”. Transformational leaders focus on people and the environment (culture) to achieve extraordinary results.

People Leadership

Senior Managers realise that they can’t get the job done without hiring, retaining and developing the right people. As a manager this is often handed off to HR but critical skills include coaching and mentoring as well as a deep understanding of what drives people and how to motivate them. Effective leaders know how to “read” people and use this skill to positively influence outcomes.

Creating a Positive Performing Culture

We are strongly influenced by our environment and the people around us, it is therefore critical that the Senior Leader understands how to create a positive performing culture. Cultures can be subtle or obvious but we usually know what counts for success in any situation. By purposefully acknowledging and validating the behaviours that count, the senior manager can create high performing teams and an environment where people want to work and exercise Self-leadership.

Obviously these ideas are just a broad overview, if you would like to take a deeper dive, why not contact Self Leadership International or attend our program in Singapore on May 24-25, 2012.

1. Long haul flights are longer with kids. Remember the scene in Shrek where donkey asks, “Are we there yet?” I think this is because children live in the present and have little concept of delayed gratification.
2. Vomit is inevitable – Different food and new bugs will undoubtedly lead to the up-chuck. There is nothing more exciting than you and your child being covered in vomit on the Paris metro, so pack a change for you kids AND yourself.
3. It’s not your holiday – forget that museum or show you wanted to see, a holiday with kids requires them to be entertained first.
4. You get massive enjoyment doing the simple things when you see them through a child’s eyes.
5. Patience is like money, it can run out so make sure you have plenty of it.
6. Kids can be both ‘creatures of habit’ and remarkably flexible – Your family holiday will show you where in your life you need to develop flexibility.
7. A successful family holiday requires both parents to be a tag-team; with clear communication your marriage and your family will be strengthened.

I am just getting over the jet-lag and reflecting on the great memories we created together; perhaps you would like to share your tips and learning from travelling with kids?

2009 could be associated with many negative emotion; fear, anxiety, uncertainty, regret etc. This is not all bad because emotions have ‘motivational consequences’. If we view our emotions as a feedback system, we can use the information to change our behaviours or make better choices.

Positive Emotions

My opening paragraph is unlikely to be a surprise because there has been copious research into so called ‘negative’ emotions, in fact studies into negative emotions outnumbers those on positive emotions by 25 to 1!

What has been revealed is that negative emotions, narrow our focus and actions but feeling good broadens our interests and helps us build our capablilities. Positive emotions make us more curious and interested and therefore more likely to try new activities and develop new skills. Postive emotions have been shown to make people more creative and better problem solvers and therefore an essential ingredient for innovation.

Benefits of Positive Emotion

A 2005 article by Lyubomirsky, King and Diener in Psychological Bulletin listed the proven benefits of positive emotion. I have summarised them here for you to consider your outlook for 2010.

At Work

Being positive is associate with:

• Higher salaries
• Better supervisor evaluations
• Better customer evaluations
• Less absenteeism
• Less employee turnover
• Better organizational behavior
• Better relationship with colleagues

Health and Social

• Positive people are less likely than negative people to develop a cold, and when they did the symptoms were far less severe.
• Positivity linked to less pain, physical symptoms, fewer hospital visits.
• Good relationships associated with better health and mental health.
• Happiest 10% are more sociable, have stronger friendships, and romantic relationships.
• Positive people volunteer more and are more willing to help others.
• Positive people are more extroverted and are less selfish.

The list speaks for itself and I know having had a few days off at Christmas, spending time with family and exercising has increased my positivity. Speaking to friends and colleagues all have mentioned a more positive and optimistic outlook for 2010 and so I for one will be making ‘being more positive’ a goal for next year – how about you?

Happy Holidays to all our readers – whether you celebrate this holiday as religious festival or just get caught up in the spirit of goodwill.

Spend your Money like a Wise Man

If you want to be happy this Christmas you may or may not be surprised that research proves that spending money on other people increases happiness.

It Really is the Thought that Counts

Other research shows that giving money does not give a message of ‘intimacy’.

I had an interesting conversation with Alysson an HR director about her team wanting to increase the value of a Kriscringle from $10 to $25 because it was so “hard” to find a gift for $10. Alysson rejected the request saying that it was not about the money but the effort, it cost very little to bake some cookies but it really shows thoughtfulness.

In the past I have found buying presents a chore and usually spent too much at the last minute. This year I have put in a bit of extra effort to buy more thoughtful (and less expensive) gifts for my wife. The effort was pleasurable for me – I hope do hope she likes them

Eat Drink and be Merry

I have no research to back this last statement but experience tells me that eating and good conversation with friends and family will increase happiness and refocus us on the important relationships in our lives. A caveat is that you don’t need to overeat or get a hangover to get maximum satisfaction.

So have a great Christmas and I look forward to sharing more self leadership tips in 2010.

With self leadership coaching he came to the powerful realisation that it his ‘Mind’ his ‘Choices’ and his ‘Life’.

If, like my client, you are lacking ‘permission’ by taking ownership and responsibility of your mind, your choices an your life puts you in the drivers seat and enables you to create the personal or business success you want.

Confirmation of this power to choose is the theme of the final part of The Matrix movie trilogy. The character Neo is able to triumph over Agent Smith when, after prompting from The Oracle, he re-discovers his power of choice.

Is there an area in your life or career that you have been saying “I have no choice”? I wonder what would happen if you were to take responsibility and say; “My mind, my choice, my life!”

My coaching client did take control and left a low paying, menial job and started traveling; he settled in Vietnam where he started a business and met the love of his life.

If you would like coaching to assist you achieve this positive and powerful choice then connect to a coach or attend one of our self leadership programs.

Humor is a great stress reliever with  many positive health benefits and importantly in this current climate it causes us to step back and get a new perspective.

Allow me to share with you what a fun week I have had with the intention of inspiring you to have a little laugh…

On Tuesday night I performed 8 minutes of stand-up comedy; this had been on my bucket list for years as  I  had heard that stand-up is a real test of  skill. The aim of stand-up is to get six laughs a minute which is a hell of an achievement with a group of strangers. I didn’t get 6 laughs a minute but I did get the crowd to laugh as you can see and hear on this YouTube Video.

The unexpected bonus I had from doing stand-up comedy is that I am now seeing funny things in many more places; at work, in the street, in my relationships, everywhere! And the benefit of this is that I feel better at work and my relationships have improved noticeably.

Today we took our staff to lunch as one team member is leaving and another is having a birthday. We had a delicious lunch and with huge servings of laughter; we laughed at so many things and I think that we significantly improved the morale of the team.

One of our associates laughs for up to 5 minutes every morning as part of his preparation for the day – he says it raises his engergy better than a double shot latte. So as you read this just take stock of how much you have laughed this week? Do you need to hire some funny videos or go to a stand up comedy club yourself?

Here’s wishing you fun, lightness and laughter in the days ahead.

This blog post is prompted by a conversation I had last week with someone who had just learned the hard way that not doing the right thing costs on the inside even when it doesn’t cost on the outside.

The dictionary definition of integrity describes it as having a consistency of actions, values and principles. I like to describe integrity as, “doing the right thing even when no one is looking”.

So how does not being consistent with your actions cost you?

When you say you will do a thing and you don’t carry it out, those who you committed to will not trust your word or future deeds and more importantly your unconscious mind won’t trust you either.

With Self-leadership we set a course to achieve an objective and we make commitments to ourself to follow through. Successful people understand that they must do what they say they will do because that builds, self-confidence and self belief to push through obstacles and rejection. Not following through on our commitments may seem easier in the short term but it will make the next thing you commit to less likely to succeed.

People who have started diet plans, exercise regimes or saving strategies know exactly what I mean. If you have quit before, you begin to self-doubt you ability to stay the course the next time and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Trust is a precious commodity, once lost it is most difficult to regain. By making sure your words and deeds are always in alignment you will never have to worry about losing trust.

When my friend told me about not fulfilling a commitment I told him that whilst I cared for him, I was now disappointed in his actions because integrity is such a strong value for me. He assured me that he had learned his lesson but I told him that he will only know this when he next commits to something and follows through, even if it costs him.

Walk your talk and make sure your actions follow sound principles and you will find life gets easier not harder. As wiseman once said, “where there is choice there is pain, the only true freedom is true commitment.”

The waitress arrived, and after taking my order ventured to practice her English by asking, “how are you tomorrow?” I smiled and chuckled and said that I intended to have a really good day tomorrow and that I was also having a good day today.

Her accidental phrase left me thinking because I had just spent most of the day teaching a group of senior managers that they were in control of their thoughts and feelings; in this context how are you tomorrow is not such as silly question.

As I have explained in previous blog posts, self leadership requires self confidence but it also requires self-determination. Self-determination is the free choice to determine one’s behaviours and therefore influence our own destiny. How are we tomorrow will in part be due to what we do today.

Self determination is also defined as the  freedom of the people of a given territory to determine their own political status. With the current situation in Iran we see a people passionately attempting to self determine their tomorrow. This situation is a powerful reminder that if we currently enjoy the freedom to exercise our own choice to live and create our own tomorrows we should be truly grateful. Even with the current economic changes we can still take action today  to make sure tomorrow is a better one.

Here is wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous tomorrow.

In 1984 the number of internet devices was 1000, in 1992, 1,000,000 and in 2008, 1000,000,000!

To reach an audience of 50 million it took Radio 38 years, Tv 13 years, iPod 3 years and Facebook 2 years!

In 2007 there were 2.7 Billion Google queries/month in 2008 31 Billion! Who did we ask those questions BG (before  Google)?

And the internet is changing our lives in other ways; in 2007 one in eight couples who married in the USA met on the internet!

It is so easy to take the internet for granted and Gen Y have never lived without it – and people ask the question , “what’s next?”

The other question is, “what remains the same?”

People still need to exercise self leadership, they still need to communicate effectively and influence others; they still need to learn, grow and find meaning and happiness in what they do. Thankfully the internet helps us to find the resources to do these things.

Motivation provides the energy and emotion for us to take action, but did you know that motivation has two directions?

Effective motivation occurs when we are mobilised to move away from what we don’t want and are strongly drawn to what we do want. Motivation is like a rocket with a strong propulsion system to escape gravity and a guidance system to direct it to the target.

If we only want to move away from what we don’t want but do not have a clear picture of our destination we are likely to make bad choices, and if we have an idea about what we want but are still comfortable doing what we are doing, nothing will change.

To build a strong motivational propulsion system requires tapping into your mind’s powerful ability to visualise.

Start with creating a strong image of how you would like things to be, imagine anything is possible, and clearly see yourself has the person who you want to become. Fill in all the details, “what will you look like? what will you be feeling? what will you be saying? Who will be there with you?Where is this happening?” Invest your energy in this thought experiment so that you can actually smell and tast what this future will be like.

Now ask yourself, “do you really want this?” The answer must be a categorical “YES!” for effective motivation.

Now build the ‘Away From’ propulsion. “What will happen if you don’t get your desired future? How will you feel if nothing changes? What if things stay the same for another 5,10, 15 years? Are you ready to do something about this now?”

If you ask yourself these questions you should feel a strong enough force to start taking action towards your future which you will find pulling on you. This creative tension is what has propelled athletes, scientists, entrepreneurs and business people to greater levels of thought and performance.

Once you have completed the visualisation and feel the motivation you must plan; “what steps or  stages are required to reach your target? What resources do you need? Who do you need to talk to? What mindset or attitude must you adopt?”

What you have experienced here is coaching, because coaching directs a person to consider what is possible for them and co-creates an action plan to achieve it.

To your greatest success!