NLP for Speakers and Trainers

Workshop in Singapore, December 8-10, 2010

Most of us have experienced a boring speaker or found ourselves wondering at the relevance of a training we  were attending. Conversely when we have been engaged, enthralled and excited by a masterful presentation our minds become curious, ”how did the speaker get to be so good”.

Speaking can change minds and Training can be the most effective way of developing behaviours and skills in an organisation, however when done badly both are a waste of time and money. Download brochure.

Neuro Linguistic Programming

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) allows us to model or understand any human experience or behaviour is constructed and then duplicate or improve upon it. With this knowledge speakers and trainers can strengthen what they do well, eliminate what doesn’t work and incorporate the best practices of the masters in the field. Think about how powerful it will be when you can compress your learning curve and to increase the value you offer to your students or clients.

Imagine stepping in front of your audience feeling confident, relaxed and focused. Picture yourself connecting with individuals, seeing eye to eye and noticing the subtle non-verbal cues that let you know just how to land your message in a way that just makes sense.

With NLP skills you can structure a speech or training in ways to facilitate accelerated learning, reduce resistance and increase buy-in because NLP teaches you how the mind and body really work. Download brochure.

Speaking and Training Skills

If you are a new or seasoned speaker, trainer, coach or lecturer then you will want to develop your skills to positively influence and audience. In the NLP for Speakers and Trainers program you will learn about:

• Training State – how to overcome fear and increase confidence and focus
• Training Design – how to plan your presentation to get maximum learning, engagement and application
• Managing the Audience – how to influence the audience’s thinking and feeling
• Unconscious Learning – how to overcome resistance and create a deeper impact
• Closing the Knowing-doing gap – how to turn ideas into actions

Plus you will be personally coached to the next level in your presentation skills.

If you are in Singapore or can travel then Download the brochure for more details.

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As with all things, Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

In this YouTube video I share a few tips on remembering a speech.

Feel free to share your tips by adding a comment.

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Have you seen the TV series ‘Lie to Me’?  Lie to Me is based on the work of Paul Ekman, a psychologist who has been a pioneer in the study of emotions and their relation to facial expressions. The show is compelling  because the main character can read when people are lying and appears to have an almost supernatural ability to read minds.

If you are in any kind of relationship; whether it be work, social or romantic the ability to read the other person’s thoughts and emotions about a topic will improve communication providing the skill is used ethically.

I have previously written about psychometric tests which are used in a corporate setting to understand employees personalities and get the best from them, but what about being able to read people on the fly? It is certainly possible and I have taught this skill to managers, coaches, trainers and even intelligence services.

To read people you need to learn to listen with both your eyes and your ears. People are always transmitting what they think and feel, the same way a wireless network is always sending a signal so that you can connect – it’s just that some people are more  encrypted than others!

Mastering the ability to decipher body language, speech patterns and micro expressions takes time but even the novice can get results by learning to notice what people are actually saying.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) provides an excellent framework for noticing and calibrating; eye movements, breathing, gestures and facial expressions. The language we use and how we use it gives clues to what’s important to us and topics we feel strongly about as well as our preferred way to process and respond to information.

Here are a couple of exercises to get you started:

Reading Yes / No

Ask a friend to not speak but respond to a series of questions with a definitive “Yes” or “No” in their mind. As you ask them questions that you know the answers such as; your name is, you are x years old, you like icecream – notice how they respond with their; eyes, face, mouth, breathing, jaw tension. When you are clear that you can read yes/no then ask them some questions to which you don’t know the answer and see if you can guess based on what you see. Once you have mastered this you can calibrate people in general conversation by noticing how they respond in the affirmative or negative. With this information you will never be left guessing about whether you have got the sales order or if they will call you again.

Reading Values

Values and beliefs drive behaviours and so if you can read someones values you can predict how they will behave. As you listen to someone notice what they talk about and particularly what they talk about with emphasis. Emphasis can be demonstrated by voice tonality, volume or non-verbal gesture. You can check your read by asking clarifying questions such as, “that seems important to you, can I ask what’s important about that?” This line of questioning delivered in a curious, non-threatening way will uncover values.

These exercise are just to whet your appetite and of course will improve with the right coaching from someone who knows what they are doing. If you would like to learn more then contact us at Self Leadership International.

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In this short video I suggest that what to do with your hands is to make meaningful gestures.

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Footnote: Experienced NLP practitioners will recognise the embedded frames and state inductions in this video.

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I have a limited number of complimentary tickets available so if you want to learn about leadership and influence and are in Singapore, contact the organisers and mention this blog and they will have a ticket emailed to you (whilst stocks last).

See you there? Andrew Bryant,CSP

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This short video will certainly help.

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2009 could be associated with many negative emotion; fear, anxiety, uncertainty, regret etc. This is not all bad because emotions have ‘motivational consequences’. If we view our emotions as a feedback system, we can use the information to change our behaviours or make better choices.

Positive Emotions

My opening paragraph is unlikely to be a surprise because there has been copious research into so called ‘negative’ emotions, in fact studies into negative emotions outnumbers those on positive emotions by 25 to 1!

What has been revealed is that negative emotions, narrow our focus and actions but feeling good broadens our interests and helps us build our capablilities. Positive emotions make us more curious and interested and therefore more likely to try new activities and develop new skills. Postive emotions have been shown to make people more creative and better problem solvers and therefore an essential ingredient for innovation.

Benefits of Positive Emotion

A 2005 article by Lyubomirsky, King and Diener in Psychological Bulletin listed the proven benefits of positive emotion. I have summarised them here for you to consider your outlook for 2010.

At Work

Being positive is associate with:

• Higher salaries
• Better supervisor evaluations
• Better customer evaluations
• Less absenteeism
• Less employee turnover
• Better organizational behavior
• Better relationship with colleagues

Health and Social

• Positive people are less likely than negative people to develop a cold, and when they did the symptoms were far less severe.
• Positivity linked to less pain, physical symptoms, fewer hospital visits.
• Good relationships associated with better health and mental health.
• Happiest 10% are more sociable, have stronger friendships, and romantic relationships.
• Positive people volunteer more and are more willing to help others.
• Positive people are more extroverted and are less selfish.

The list speaks for itself and I know having had a few days off at Christmas, spending time with family and exercising has increased my positivity. Speaking to friends and colleagues all have mentioned a more positive and optimistic outlook for 2010 and so I for one will be making ‘being more positive’ a goal for next year – how about you?

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In 1990 Peter Senge published a book that has become a classic, a book that most people in leadership and management roles in business, most who consult or coach within organizations, and those who seek to stay on the cutting edge of business have read.  I’m speaking, of course, about the book The Fifth Discipline. The theme and central focus of this book is on learning to think and work systemically.

Senge was convinced that the key to business success rested in five disciplines, which when synergized by leaders and managers, will launch an organization or business into a creative mode and take it to a whole new level of effectiveness.  Like the five critical component technologies that came together in 1935 for the McDonnell Douglas DC-3 and which ushered in the era of commercial air travel— Senge argued that the five components he discovered would create great companies.

What are those five components?  Systems thinking, personal mastery, mental models, building shared vision, and team learning.  Together “each provides a vital dimension in building organizations that can truly ‘learn,’ that can continually enhance their capacity to realize their highest aspirations” (p. 6).  Then unlike most contemporary organizations that are reactive, companies can become responsive or even generative.

Senge focuses on enabling companies to become “learning organizations.”  He writes about organizations going beyond the old traditional hierarchical structures to an enlivening vision, people collaborating and experiencing team learning, a whole new level of openness, and leadership that evolves beyond being politically power oriented.  Now does that sound like self-actualization or the self-actualizing leaders and companies that I describe in Unleashing Leadership? That’s what I also thought!   The Fifth Discipline is about self-actualization in organizations.

Yet because Senge did not use the term self-actualization or frame things in terms of moving beyond Theory X to Theory Y of management, I did not make the connection.  In spite of not using the language, throughout the work the vision and premises of self-actualization psychology informs his argument for the emergence of a whole new kind of organization— self-actualizing organizations.

In fact, for Senge “systems thinking” and “personal mastery” are two of his expressions for self-actualization.  What I suddenly now realize in re-reading The Fifth Discipline is that “personal mastery” in this model is what we call “self-actualization” in Maslow’s model!  Here’s my evidence.

Senge described “personal mastery” as a high level of proficiency in an area that deeply matters to you.  And to develop that level of mastery, you need to do two things: 1) Clarify what’s truly important to you and 2) See current reality more clearly. (p. 141).  Senge says that personal mastery goes beyond competence.

“It goes beyond spiritual unfolding or opening, although it requires spiritual growth.  It means approaching one’s life as a creative work, living life from a creative as opposed to reactive viewpoint.” (p. 141)

In an amazing paragraph where he described people of personal mastery, Senge’s description sounds very, very similar to how Maslow described self-actualizing people.

“People with a high level of personal mastery share several basic characteristics.  They have a special sense of purpose that lies behind their visions and goals.  For such a person, a vision is a calling rather than simply a good idea. They see ‘current reality’ as an ally, not an enemy.  They have learned how to perceive and work with forces of change rather than resist those forces.  They are deeply inquisitive, committed to continuing seeing reality more and more accurately.  They feel connected to others and to life itself.  Yet they sacrifice none of their uniqueness.  They feel as if they are part of a larger creative process, which they can influence but cannot unilaterally control.

“People with a high level of personal mastery live in a continual learning mode.  They never ‘arrive.’ … Personal mastery is not something you possess.  It is a process.  It is a lifelong discipline.  People with a high level of personal mastery are acutely aware of their ignorance, their incompetence, their growth areas.” (p. 142)

“People with high levels of personal mastery are more committed.  They take more initiative.  They have a broader and deeper sense of responsibility in their work.  They learn faster.  For all these reasons, a great many organizations espouse a commitment to fostering personal growth among their employees because they believe it will make the organization stronger.” (p. 143)

And systems thinking?  Senge describes this as “contemplating the whole as a pattern,” being able to see the unity of snapshots of isolated parts and how they work together.  He describes the building blocks of systems thinking as feedback loops and delays in the system and from there the recognition of patterns that arise that indicate specific kinds of systems (archetypes).

When we apply systems thinking to human beings, we recognize that our experiences are made up of multiple systems—our mind-body system, our meaning-making system, our neuro-semantic system.  And within these systems are reinforcing processes, limiting processes, balancing (stabilizing) processes.  And as in a business or political system, we also experience problems at various levels.  Some of our problems are mere symptoms of the system rather than the fundamental causes.  That’s why the symptoms keep resurfacing over time.  That’s why “solutions” which work at one level or for the short-term, never actually takes care of the real problem.

So what do we discover when we “contemplate the whole” and look for patterns in human beings?  We discover that there is within us an inner drive to self-actualize and that this is itself our most fundamental inner dynamic system.  This is our primary system for growing, developing, and actualizing our highest meanings and performances.  And Self-Actualization Psychology is the psychology that describes this whole.

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