Winning the Communication Skills Game
Communication skills are the glue that holds together relationships and the oil that lubricates business and sales.
Good communication skills are essential to lead yourself and influence others. Poor communication causes pain, conflict, loss of productivity and profit.
Listen to a podcast on Communication Skills.
To win the communication game you must know and apply the rules of the game; and the #1 rule of communication is that - All communication occurs inside a frame.
A communication frame gives the listener reference points to know how to handle the information they hear from you. A communication frame points the listener’s mind in a particular direction and when used correctly will create trust and remove misunderstandings.
Any time we say “In terms of …” we set the boundaries of the discussion and hence the frame. Often two or more people in conflict are actually discussing different topics or perspectives, using “in terms of…” allows us to focus on the specific topic or to challenge people who have gone off topic.
For example:
- “In terms of reaching a decision in the next hour, let me make this point…”
- “In terms of us working together in this team, how would you like me to interpret your behaviour?”
- “In terms of our stated budget, do you think this is a wise purchase?”
Here are some other simple examples of communication frames and how to use them:
The Workshop Frame:
“Just work shopping – what if we did…x”. This frame is great for putting ideas out; it reduces reactions because it sets the frame that it is ok for the other person to give input.
The Sharing Frame:
“I’m just sharing, this is the way I feel about… x”. This frame allows you to share your feelings without the other person needing to take your emotional state personally.
The ‘What if’ Frame:
“I know we have never done this before, but what if we did?” This is a great frame for setting for pushing the boundaries and creative thinking.
There are, of course, frames that you already use and many more you could learn to use. The frames we use in language often reflect our frames of mind, do you have a ‘can do’ frame’? Or do you operate from a ‘can’t do’ frame?
Training yourself to become aware of your frames of mind and frames of speech is a fundamental of self-leadership and using the technology of Neuro Semantics (an evolution of NLP) we can set frames for great relationships, health and even wealth.
Want to know more? For Communication Skills Workshops in Singapore, Australia, Malaysia, India or the Middle East contact us.
