2009 could be associated with many negative emotion; fear, anxiety, uncertainty, regret etc. This is not all bad because emotions have ‘motivational consequences’. If we view our emotions as a feedback system, we can use the information to change our behaviours or make better choices. Continue Reading »
As a continuation of my previous blog post Permission to Succeed I wanted to share the story of a coaching client who was allowing a number of people, some no longer living, to control what he was or was not allowed to do. This man in his late 30’s did not have full permission to think for himself, to really choose the life he wanted. The anxiety this caused was seriously impeding his success.
With self leadership coaching he came to the powerful realisation that it his ‘Mind’ his ‘Choices’ and his ‘Life’.
If, like my client, you are lacking ‘permission’ by taking ownership and responsibility of your mind, your choices an your life puts you in the drivers seat and enables you to create the personal or business success you want.
Confirmation of this power to choose is the theme of the final part of The Matrix movie trilogy. The character Neo is able to triumph over Agent Smith when, after prompting from The Oracle, he re-discovers his power of choice.
Is there an area in your life or career that you have been saying “I have no choice”? I wonder what would happen if you were to take responsibility and say; “My mind, my choice, my life!”
My coaching client did take control and left a low paying, menial job and started traveling; he settled in Vietnam where he started a business and met the love of his life.
If you would like coaching to assist you achieve this positive and powerful choice then connect to a coach or attend one of our self leadership programs.
Confidence is a key success factor for modern managers and leaders and yet many lack confidence in the following areas:
“It’s not our abilities that show us what we truly are; it’s our choices.”
These words, spoken by Professor Dumbledore to Harry Potter, are a profound reminder that leaders require self leadership.
Viktor Frankl, the Nazi death camp survivor and founder of logo therapy, said it this way, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Interestingly we do not always get the best education in making choices. I recently spoke to a father who told me that he was having difficulty disciplining his teenage son; he had said to the boy, “Whilst under my roof, you have no choice.” With some empathy I shared a perspective that he might be handicapping his son’s abilities to learn to choose. Our choices have consequences and perhaps we need a gradient of consequences as we learn the power of choice?
As Self Leadership International we take this approach with our staff, we give them tasks that require them to make choices. With new interns or employees we limit the consequenses of those choices away from business critical areas, but as they grow in confidence we give them more and more rope ( but not enough to hang themselves!).
I have been involved in training leadership for managers for many years and this concept of empowerment is one that they often struggle with. I think it might be linked to a lack of permission (as with the teenage son) to make choices for themselves that prevents them from allowing others to make choices.
Here is a simple self leadership approach to making choices:
It takes a high degree of self awareness to run through this process and we make many choices by ‘gut feel’ but gut feel is our unconscious processing of choices. Leaders train their gut feel or intuition by paying attention the results of their choices and the choices of others.
May you make good choices this year.
(copyright Andrew Bryant – no reproduction without permission)