When communicating any message it is essential that we are congruent, that is to say our words match our tonality which matches our body language. It is also important to get our facts right, because to fail to do so will lose you all credibility.
The 7%, 38%, 55% Myth
You may be familiar with the above statistics which are regularly rolled out by communication trainers to make the point that tonality (38%) and body language/facial expressions (55%) are important in getting your message across. The irony is that people, who I believe should know better, are promoting a myth by quoting statistics without knowing what they mean. Continue Reading »
I recently had a challenging situation in the office, with a colleague of mine. Because we had only been working together for a short time and our personalities were quite different, we ended up struggling in our communication: I preferred to be direct and to the point, she liked to also have a friendly chat and spend time getting to know each other.
Obviously, because of our differences in communication styles we ended up having some very heated conversations. We both felt upset and not understood by the other which created a tension in the office. Continue Reading »
Have you seen the TV series ‘Lie to Me’? Lie to Me is based on the work of Paul Ekman, a psychologist who has been a pioneer in the study of emotions and their relation to facial expressions. The show is compelling because the main character can read when people are lying and appears to have an almost supernatural ability to read minds.
If you are in any kind of relationship; whether it be work, social or romantic the ability to read the other person’s thoughts and emotions about a topic will improve communication providing the skill is used ethically. Continue Reading »
The road to hell may be paved with good intentions but this is usually because of bad execution.
An intention is a frame of mind that drives action, when you have a clearly defined intention you gain a laser like focus and begin to take action. Effective execution occurs when intentions are transformed into well thought out behaviours.
People can often read your intentions but the world rewards your effective execution. Here are four questions to ask:
What is it you want to do?
What actions do you need to take?
What will be the effect of those actions?
Will these effects be in line with your intention?
Here is a short video on intentionality when it comes to public speaking:
I just got a call from Australia, from James who needed a coach for one his bank’s people in Singapore. The reason I got the call was that James had heard about me from Yuvi who had previously used me for some communication training and the reason he used me is that he had heard about me from Carole who had been introduced to me by Stephanie who I met at a conference in Kuala Lumpur!
A couple of yeas ago I was rushing to meet a new client, a CEO who required some coaching; as I was running short of time I chose to miss lunch and go straight to the appointment.
I was greeted at the company by the company’s communications manager who was to show me to the boardroom to meet the CEO. She politely asked me if she could get me anything, perhaps thinking I might need a tea or coffee. My response was, Continue Reading »
We now take for granted our ability to share ideas, opinions and facts instantaneously and across borders, but prior the the early 1980′s this was not possible. See an old CBC news report on the birth of the internet.
In 1984 the number of internet devices was 1000, in 1992, 1,000,000 and in 2008, 1000,000,000!
To reach an audience of 50 million it took Radio 38 years, Tv 13 years, iPod 3 years and Facebook 2 years!
In 2007 there were 2.7 Billion Google queries/month in 2008 31 Billion! Who did we ask those questions BG (before Google)?
And the internet is changing our lives in other ways; in 2007 one in eight couples who married in the USA met on the internet!
It is so easy to take the internet for granted and Gen Y have never lived without it – and people ask the question , “what’s next?”
The other question is, “what remains the same?”
People still need to exercise self leadership, they still need to communicate effectively and influenceothers; they still need to learn, grow and find meaning and happiness in what they do. Thankfully the internet helps us to find the resources to do these things.
Quick pop quiz: In the last 48 hours have you experienced significant levels of frustration, fatigue, muscle tension, irritability, anger, cynicism, negativity or a feeling of being out of control?
All of these are signs of STRESS.
Success in today’s fast-paced and ever-changing environment requires the ability to effectively manage our own stress in the face of an increasing number of stressors. Continue Reading »
Communication skills are the glue that holds together relationships and the oil that lubricates business and sales.
Good communication skills are essential to lead yourself and influence others. Poor communication causes pain, conflict, loss of productivity and profit.
When communicating any message it is essential that we are congruent, that is to say our words match our tonality which matches our body language. It is also important to get our facts right, because to fail to do so will lose you all credibility.
A couple of yeas ago I was rushing to meet a new client, a CEO who required some coaching; as I was running short of time I chose to miss lunch and go straight to the appointment.
Self Leadership International is a sponsor of the Singapore 
We now take for granted our ability to share ideas, opinions and facts instantaneously and across borders, but prior the the early 1980′s this was not possible. See an old 
Communication skills are the glue that holds together relationships and the oil that lubricates business and sales.
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