What do Children Teach us about Leadership?

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 02:42:17 +0000

When I speak about leadership at a conference or workshop, I often talk about my children, Tasha (3 1/2) and Nathan (22 months). This is for a couple of reasons, firstly and selfishly because I am a proud father, secondly because it builds rapport with the audience and thirdly and most importantly because they are good examples of leadership and influence principles. In this blog post I wanted to share 3 such leadership principles.

1. Modeling Behaviour

Every parent knows that children are great mimics, they watch you like a hawk and duplicate your behaviour. This can be amusing, as when Tasha first started painting her nails after watching my wife or Nathan picking up my tennis racket and saying, “like daddy.” The dark side of this modeling is when children mimic the aggressive behaviour of adults, which was demonstrated by Dr. Albert Bandura with the Bobo Doll experiment and is evidenced in war torn areas of the world where children carry weapons.

Adults to0 model behaviour which is why the leaders of any team or organisation must “walk the talk”, they must be the model for the behaviours they wish to see duplicated. Talk is cheap – action is real.

2. Validation

Both Tasha and Nathan like to clap themselves when they do something right and they both beam when Zurina and I give them praise. As a leadership consultant I know how important it is that I continue to praise even moderately good performance as research by Dr Ethna Reid shows that teachers who get the best results, validate regularly. Successful teachers also alternate between teaching and questioning (testing) for comprehension.

In leadership and management in a hectic paced world it is all too easy to criticise poor performance and to tell rather than ask. In our leadership for managers program, we emphasise and rehearse the arts of validation and asking good questions.

3. Story Telling

Children love stories and interpret our cultural moral code from those stories. Tasha knows who are the good princesses (coutesy of Disney) and who is the evil queen, Nathan is learning from Thomas the Tank Engine that when you break the rules you go off the rails, he even exclaims very loudly “oh no!” when this happens.

Effective leaders also tell stories that let their followers know what the vision and culture of the organisation is. These stories get retold and strongly influence the behaviour of the team or workforce. When I was teaching coaching skills at Singapore Airlines I noticed how they regularly used stories of exemplary customer service to validate and reinforce the behaviour of going the extra mile service (GEMS).

Perhaps you have other Leadership Principles you have learned from children – feel free to share.

Motivation and Visualisation

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 01:14:50 +0000

A critical skill of self leadership is the ability to motivate yourself to do what is necessary for your success.

Motivation provides the energy and emotion for us to take action, but did you know that motivation has two directions?

Effective motivation occurs when we are mobilised to move away from what we don’t want and are strongly drawn to what we do want. Motivation is like a rocket with a strong propulsion system to escape gravity and a guidance system to direct it to the target.

If we only want to move away from what we don’t want but do not have a clear picture of our destination we are likely to make bad choices, and if we have an idea about what we want but are still comfortable doing what we are doing, nothing will change.

To build a strong motivational propulsion system requires tapping into your mind’s powerful ability to visualise.

Start with creating a strong image of how you would like things to be, imagine anything is possible, and clearly see yourself has the person who you want to become. Fill in all the details, “what will you look like? what will you be feeling? what will you be saying? Who will be there with you?Where is this happening?” Invest your energy in this thought experiment so that you can actually smell and tast what this future will be like.

Now ask yourself, “do you really want this?” The answer must be a categorical “YES!” for effective motivation.

Now build the ‘Away From’ propulsion. “What will happen if you don’t get your desired future? How will you feel if nothing changes? What if things stay the same for another 5,10, 15 years? Are you ready to do something about this now?”

If you ask yourself these questions you should feel a strong enough force to start taking action towards your future which you will find pulling on you. This creative tension is what has propelled athletes, scientists, entrepreneurs and business people to greater levels of thought and performance.

Once you have completed the visualisation and feel the motivation you must plan; “what steps or stages are required to reach your target? What resources do you need? Who do you need to talk to? What mindset or attitude must you adopt?”

What you have experienced here is coaching, because coaching directs a person to consider what is possible for them and co-creates an action plan to achieve it.

To your greatest success!

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