Self Leadership Coaching Blog » influence

Sales Skills with Self Leadership

Radu Palamariu — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 06:26:38 +0000

We don’t often post sales training information on this site but this article by our Singapore Sales manager, Radu Palamariu, demonstrates self leadership and communication skills.

Ask the tough question

“Send me some more information!”
“Let me think it over!”

These are the two statements that most prospective clients use on sales people. And unfortunately, most of them get away with it.

1) Unfortunate for the sales person, because he or she will need to call again to chase the prospect/client for an answer whilst having no guarantee of the result.

2) Unfortunate for the prospect/client, because they will be called again and will have to spend valuable time either reevaluating or fobbing off the sales person.

Since we all know this happens, why are people still doing it?

1) Because clients are often too polite to say “No” upfront.

2) Because sales people are afraid to be upfront for fear of getting a “No”.

So, how can you save yourself and your prospect loads of time?

1) Assess if the client is interested – Immediately!

Next time you hear, “Send me some more information!”Or “Let me think it over!”

Immediately ask the tough question:

“I just want to check with you if my service/product is of interest to you? If not, it will save us both valuable time if you can tell me upfront.”

This way you are giving the client permission to say “NO” and avoid the “unfortunate” part. But you also show that you are serious, have belief in your product and have no interest in chasing the client if they don’t need it.

Most intelligent prospect/ clients will respect that . Who knows? You may even get referrals if you ask for them and might hear “I don’t need it, but I know a friend who might.”

So, with this awareness, are you ready to ask the tough question?

How to Influence your Boss

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 04:48:10 +0000

I recently conducted ‘Critical Skills for Leaders and Senior Managers’ in Singapore and Malaysia; during these programs I surveyed the participants for their desired take-aways – 80% of the attendees wanted to know how to influence their boss.

Research has shown that the inability to build a successful relationship with the boss is a significant reason for managers failing or not reaching their full potential.

When I approach this topic I encounter a number of mindsets that lead to an inability to effectively influence, these include:

My boss is autocratic
My boss doesn’t listen to me
I don’t want to jeopardise my career
I have no power in the relationship
My boss doesn’t give me time

Do any of these sound familiar?

The problem with blaming the boss is that you have created an external locus of control which is the exact opposite of self-leadership. To influence you must ask yourself what can I do that will make a difference? The purpose of this blog is to provide some ideas to get you started:

1. Create an Ally

Allies have open and honest conversations, they may not always agree but they will listen to what each other wants and assertively communicate what their own needs. “But my boss doesn’t care what I need” I hear you cry; and my response is, do you know what they need? and have you told them what you need?

2. Finding the boss’s currency

We all have currencies, those things that are important to us and ‘count’ in relationship. Bosses
currenices are likely to be some of the following:

Commitment to the stated vision
Doing things ‘the right way’
Offering help without being asked
Doing things faster than expected
Providing information that they need
Having a skill the boss does not have
Acknowledging the bosses contribution to the organisation
Activities that build the bosses reputation
Using your contacts to expedite a task
Expressing gratitude for anything the boss gives
Minimising discomforts and distractions for the boss

Noticing which currencies the boss responds to and paying them in these currencies cost you a little in time and energy but sets up reciprocity.

3.Reciprocity

When something does something for us we feel consciously or unconsciously obliged to reciprocate.
Reciprocation is the number one principle of influence, why else do you think marketing campaigns offer you a free gift? If your boss ‘owes’ you first then you can assertively ask for what you want.

4.Assertiveness

We are most influential when we frame our influence with confidence and conviction. So using formula
for influencing your boss might look and sound like the following:

“Boss [use their name] I understand that x [insert currency or bosses pet project] is important to you and to do this I believe that we should [insert your suggestion here].”

“Boss [use their name] I appreciate that x [insert currency or bosses pet project] is important to you and to achieve this I will need [insert your request here].”

It is my experience that most employees underestimate their ability to Influence Without Authority, whether this is with their boss or their peers; believe you can influence and you will find a way.

Did you find these strategies useful? Do you have a success story on influencing your boss? Please share your stories.

Singapore Leadership Development Congress

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 02:27:13 +0000

Just a quick note to say that I will be speaking on Influence at the Singapore Leadership Development Congress on Monday.

I have a limited number of complimentary tickets available so if you want to learn about leadership and influence and are in Singapore, contact the organisers and mention this blog and they will have a ticket emailed to you (whilst stocks last).

See you there? Andrew Bryant,CSP

Leadership is Influence

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:37:30 +0000

There are many definitions of leadership but my favourite in terms of its practicality is:

“Leadership is getting work done with and through others, whilst gaining their trust and cooperation.”

In a modern matrixed organisation, the ‘others’ that we need to lead may be our subordinates but just as likely they will be our peers, our bosses and our clients.

Aristotle (384-322 BCE) spoke about influence as requiring ethos, pathos and logos. Ethos can be translated as ethics, character and personal brand; pathos is empathy for the other person’s position and logos is a logical argument.

Your personal brand will be built by your confidence and your competence – the more you demonstrate that you can get the job done the more people will rely on you and be influenced by you. Effective leaders have a “my word is my bond” credo that builds influence muscle each time they exercise it.

Empathy is acknowledging how the other party feels. Steven Covey encouraged us to get the habit of “seek first and then be understood” this is essential to effective influence. When thinking about the person we wish to influence, we should consider; the organisational culture, their unit/department culture, their bosses expectations, peers expectations, how they are measured, the nature of their work and any major forces that impact them from outside the organisation.

When we acknowledge and empathise with the forces that drive the person, they will most likely reveal the ‘currencies’ that most matter to them.

Currencies include such things as; contributing to a vision, doing the right thing, challenge, recognition, contacts, acceptance and gratitude.

Identifying currencies requires good listening and rapport building skills but when you know just what the other person values you can influence them to do almost anything. I say “almost” anything because if you attempt to influence somebody to do something that is not in their or the organisations best interest you will most likely fail.

With logos we must present our influence proposal in a way that ‘makes sense’ to the mind of the listener. You must frame your message in a way that will be well received. A good formula for framing is the 4-mat system (McCarthy) which gets you to consider, Why, What, How and What’s Next?

Your listener wants to know why they should listen to you, what are you going to talk about, how they should use the information and what they should do next?

So if I was going to influence you to consider developing your leadership and influence skills and your currencies were learning and growth I might say something like,

“Have you considered how much more effective you could be if you knew how to influence? (WHY) Because your ability to influence at all levels inside and outside the organisation are essential to you creating business growth (WHAT). You can learn to increase or leverage your existing influence by attending one of my programs or hiring me in-house (HOW), so why not contact me to find out when you can begin? (WHAT’S NEXT).”

Now of course written like that it looks a bit like a sale pitch but when used with rapport and for the good of the listener this information is powerful.

Putting a Price on Word of Mouth

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:45:53 +0000

I just got a call from Australia, from James who needed a coach for one his bank’s people in Singapore. The reason I got the call was that James had heard about me from Yuvi who had previously used me for some communication training and the reason he used me is that he had heard about me from Carole who had been introduced to me by Stephanie who I met at a conference in Kuala Lumpur!

How much was that conversation worth?

Well it might not have been worth anything if I hadn’t built the relationship by being helpful, following up and when the opportunity arose – did good work.

We have just signed a major client for 2 pilot programs. The story started last year with me telling a friend about how the Global Meltdown had affected some of our clients and asking him if he knew anybody that might need our services – he did and introduced me to lady who introduced me to guy who later referred me to somebody that needed a program on influence. Well if this is not a story about the power of building relationships and influence I don’t know what is!

Now don’t get me wrong; I am not suggesting that we put a price on all our relationships and become like an Amway distributor preying on friendships but it does reinforce the power of word of mouth.

In the first example the word of mouth advertising worked because some people are happy to refer when they get good service, however in the second case if I hadn’t talked about my need for referrals my friend of many years would not have accessed his Rolodex.

So it is import to:

Tell people what you do and what you need
Do good work and exceed expectations
Say thank you for the referal and reciprocate if possible

Seems simple right? But sometimes the simplest truths are the most profound.

Public and Professional Speaking

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:04:40 +0000

The ability to speak effectively to small or large audiences is a vital competency for manager and leaders and yet this competency is often lacking.

As a Certified Professional Speaker myself, I have spoken to thousands of people over the years and experienced the first hand what to do and what not to do with an audience. As an executive coach I have trained and coached hundred’s of managers who were previously tongue tied to connect with the audience and deliver their message effectively; so allow me to share with you a secret of public and professional speaking:

There is no such thing as an audience

The biggest mistake that novice speaker make is to imagine their perspective audience as critical or hostile. Creating this mental picture of a group united in their disapproval of you will create a state of anxiety in even the strongest of heart.

Accomplished speakers realise that an audience, small or large, is made up of individuals just like you. Each individual has needs and wants and can change their state from boredom to curiosity. If you connect to their needs and wants and create a sense of curiosity they will be on the edge of thier seats.

So the first key to successful public or professional speaking is to break down your audience into a group of individuals and preferably know what it is they want before you deliver your topic.

Most of the work in speaking is not the speech itself but the research and preparation before the speech. Only speak “off the cuff” if you know your topic backwards and know exactly who you are talking to.

As you present make eye contact, smile and imagine you are having a conversation with a group of friends or colleagues. Will it still be nerve wracking? Perhaps but the only way to get better at it is to practice at every opportunity. Remember, as we move up through an organisation, we are paid less for what we do an more for what we influence others to do. Speaking in public is a core competency for influence.

If you are interested in professional speaking training or coaching please contact us.

Why “should” makes you ANGRY

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 08:55:59 +0000

Should is a signpost to our mental maps. When you say, “I should do this or I shouldn’t do that”, you are telling yourself and those who are listening about your personal ‘rules of behaviour’.

What is more interesting however are the ‘unsaid shoulds’. When we get angry or upset it is most probably because somebody else has not complied with our ‘shoulds‘ or ‘shouldn’ts‘.

For example; if somebody pushes in front of you in a queue, do you feel angry? You do? Well that is because you (and me for that matter) believe that they shouldn’t push in.

Customer service is all about anticipating the expectation of should and shouldn’t. Last weekend I was taking my wife and children to see Barney (the pink dinosaur who dances!) at the Singapore Expo. Well firstly the car park was a nightmare, not enough spaces and people parking illegally and blocking traffic. I could feel my stress levels rising as I knew I should get the kids to the show on time and that the expo SHOULD have provided enough parking.

I chose to drop my family at the entrance and go and find another car park, so after jogging back to the venue I was just in time for the show to start. My wife asked me to find two seat boosters for the kids and so I hurriedly set off in search of these only to be told by expo staff that they had run out of boosters and that I SHOULD have been there earlier!
Now I am not proud of my response to this situation because I raised my voice and told the girl that I had paid for the most expensive seats to see the damn dinosaur and I damn well think they SHOULD provide enough boosters! In defense of the Singapore Expo or the organisers of Barney and Friends we were recompensed with two buckets of popcorn but it is another example of reacting to a ‘should’.

I have just stayed at an excellent hotel (The Grand Millennium Bangkok, Thailand) where my every need was anticipated. On check-in I was asked, “Should I need a wake up call and should I need a car to take me to the airport.” This hotel continued to impress me and I was reminded of how wonderful life is when the world meets or exceeds your mental maps.

The reason I was in Bangkok was to conduct a 3-day leadership program for senior managers and during that training I emphasised using the phrase, “what’s important to you about that?” This question uncovers a person’s values including their – ‘shoulds’. Knowing your own and other people’s mental map results in effective communication reduced conflict and increased influence.

So shouldn’t you get better at your shoulds?

Common Communication Mistakes

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Tue, 05 May 2009 01:54:31 +0000

A couple of yeas ago I was rushing to meet a new client, a CEO who required some coaching; as I was running short of time I chose to miss lunch and go straight to the appointment.

I was greeted at the company by the company’s communications manager who was to show me to the boardroom to meet the CEO. She politely asked me if she could get me anything, perhaps thinking I might need a tea or coffee. My response was, “well actually, I intend to break at about 3pm, could you possibly get me a sandwich as I am starving!” She looked somewhat surprised but at 3:00pm exactly a 12 inch Subway sandwich arrived in the boardroom.

Giving the CEO the opportunity to take a bathroom break I hungrily bit into the sandwich only to be surprised by the fact it was full of jalapeno chillies! Now I normally like spicy food, but it was the surprise that got me. At the end of the day when showing me out, I asked her whether the jalapenos were revenge for being asked to get me a sandwich, “Oh no”, she replied, “I just had it made the way I like it.”

I use this story in trainings to make the point that most often we communicate the way we like to be communicated to. If you prefer people to be direct, you will speak directly – If you prefer people to build a case you will build a case. So a common communication mistake is not considering your audience and communicating in your default or preferred style.

I provide influence training for an international bank and I find that I really need to stress the importance of a flexible approach to communication. Since the client is a bank I use the analogy that everyone has a PIN (personal identification number) that will unlock their resistance and allow you to communicate with them and, mixing my metaphors, each person broadcasts their SSID (a wireless access point identifier) to tell you how to log on to their network.

Leaders, managers, coaches and trainers need to learn to read people’s preferred communication style in order to adapt their communication in order to be understood. It may be arrogance or even stupidity to expect others to always adapt to you. There is a direct correlation between communication and productivity and so your results in work or life will depend on your ability to get a message across.

Can you learn to read people and adapt your communication to get better results? The answer is, of course “yes” So to help you get started here is a list of things to avoid:

Common Communication Mistakes

Being directive when you want buy in
Using “I” when you want team effort
Using “You” when you want to resolve conflict
Being aggressive or submissive (assertive is the alternative)
Attempting to influence when your are unclear what you want
Not finding out what’s important to the other party
Using only logic without emotion
Using only emotion without some logic
Talking down to people
Asking questions and not listening to the answer

So if you find yourself using any of the above or are not getting the results you want in life and business, then why not contact us to find out how to become an effective and influential communicator?

Remembering The Internet

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:00:49 +0000

We now take for granted our ability to share ideas, opinions and facts instantaneously and across borders, but prior the the early 1980’s this was not possible. See an old CBC news report on the birth of the internet.

In 1984 the number of internet devices was 1000, in 1992, 1,000,000 and in 2008, 1000,000,000!

To reach an audience of 50 million it took Radio 38 years, Tv 13 years, iPod 3 years and Facebook 2 years!

In 2007 there were 2.7 Billion Google queries/month in 2008 31 Billion! Who did we ask those questions BG (before Google)?

And the internet is changing our lives in other ways; in 2007 one in eight couples who married in the USA met on the internet!

It is so easy to take the internet for granted and Gen Y have never lived without it – and people ask the question , “what’s next?”

The other question is, “what remains the same?”

People still need to exercise self leadership, they still need to communicate effectively and influence others; they still need to learn, grow and find meaning and happiness in what they do. Thankfully the internet helps us to find the resources to do these things.

What do Children Teach us about Leadership?

Andrew Bryant, CSP — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 02:42:17 +0000

When I speak about leadership at a conference or workshop, I often talk about my children, Tasha (3 1/2) and Nathan (22 months). This is for a couple of reasons, firstly and selfishly because I am a proud father, secondly because it builds rapport with the audience and thirdly and most importantly because they are good examples of leadership and influence principles. In this blog post I wanted to share 3 such leadership principles.

1. Modeling Behaviour

Every parent knows that children are great mimics, they watch you like a hawk and duplicate your behaviour. This can be amusing, as when Tasha first started painting her nails after watching my wife or Nathan picking up my tennis racket and saying, “like daddy.” The dark side of this modeling is when children mimic the aggressive behaviour of adults, which was demonstrated by Dr. Albert Bandura with the Bobo Doll experiment and is evidenced in war torn areas of the world where children carry weapons.

Adults to0 model behaviour which is why the leaders of any team or organisation must “walk the talk”, they must be the model for the behaviours they wish to see duplicated. Talk is cheap – action is real.

2. Validation

Both Tasha and Nathan like to clap themselves when they do something right and they both beam when Zurina and I give them praise. As a leadership consultant I know how important it is that I continue to praise even moderately good performance as research by Dr Ethna Reid shows that teachers who get the best results, validate regularly. Successful teachers also alternate between teaching and questioning (testing) for comprehension.

In leadership and management in a hectic paced world it is all too easy to criticise poor performance and to tell rather than ask. In our leadership for managers program, we emphasise and rehearse the arts of validation and asking good questions.

3. Story Telling

Children love stories and interpret our cultural moral code from those stories. Tasha knows who are the good princesses (coutesy of Disney) and who is the evil queen, Nathan is learning from Thomas the Tank Engine that when you break the rules you go off the rails, he even exclaims very loudly “oh no!” when this happens.

Effective leaders also tell stories that let their followers know what the vision and culture of the organisation is. These stories get retold and strongly influence the behaviour of the team or workforce. When I was teaching coaching skills at Singapore Airlines I noticed how they regularly used stories of exemplary customer service to validate and reinforce the behaviour of going the extra mile service (GEMS).

Perhaps you have other Leadership Principles you have learned from children – feel free to share.

Self Leadership Coaching Blog » influence

Sales Skills with Self Leadership

Ask the tough question

“Send me some more information!”

“Let me think it over!”

Related posts

How to Influence your Boss

1. Create an Ally

2. Finding the boss’s currency

3.Reciprocity

4.Assertiveness

Related posts

Singapore Leadership Development Congress

Related posts

Leadership is Influence

Related posts

Putting a Price on Word of Mouth

So it is import to:

Related posts

Public and Professional Speaking

There is no such thing as an audience

Related posts

Why “should” makes you ANGRY

Related posts

Common Communication Mistakes

Common Communication Mistakes

Related posts

Remembering The Internet

Related posts

What do Children Teach us about Leadership?

1. Modeling Behaviour

2. Validation

3. Story Telling

Related posts