Self Leadership Coaching Blog

in a previous post, How to Influence Your Boss, I explored how to influence upwards, but just as important is how to influence laterally.

When I teach a programs on influence or influence without authority, I ask participants to create a circle of influence like the diagram below.

I then ask them to put ticks or crosses, representing ability or inability to influence, against each circle.  Obviously some circles will need sub-circles to represent individual key people. This is a useful exercise to map out where you need to develop or strengthen your influence.

In a modern matix style organisation, your success will be determined not just by what you do, but by what you can influence others to do. The effective manager/leader learns to find out what is important to the people in their circle of influence and communicates to them in terms of what matters them rather than directly stating their own needs.

Another previous post, titled ‘Leadeship is Influence’ expands on finding needs and looks at what are people’s currencies. When you know what is valuable, a currency, to another person you can trade them what they want for what you want.

I have been coaching a senior manager who had a history of antagonising clients and colleagues alike by telling them what he thinks is the right thing to do. We had discussed this  and he had commited to stop “telling” and start finding out what’s important to the people in his circle. This week he reported a dramatic improvement in his relationship and that he was getting things done quicker. This result surprised him because he thought it would take longer to ask questions than to tell people what seem to him to be an obvious solution.

Have you drawn a circle of influence? Do you know the currencies of the people you work with? Are you exercising all the influence you could?

Feel free to let me know.

As a leadership consultant and executive coach living in Singapore and working across Asia, I am often asked; “is there is a difference between Western and Asian Leaders?”

The answer is “yes” and “no”. Leaders worldwide need to ask the same questions:

• Where are we going?
• What is our strategy? (how do we get there?)
• How do we execute?
• Is our team ready? (learning and development)
• Do we have enough bench strength for growth and sustainability (succession planning)

In addition leaders must be able to engender trust and effectively communicate their messages. Continue Reading »

We don’t often post sales training information on this site but this article by our Singapore Sales manager, Radu Palamariu, demonstrates self leadership and communication skills.

Ask the tough question

•  “Send me some more information!”

• “Let me think it over!”

These are the two statements that most prospective clients use on sales people. And unfortunately, most of them get away with it.

1)      Unfortunate for the sales person, because he or she will need to call again to chase the prospect/client for an answer whilst having no guarantee of the result.

2)      Unfortunate for the prospect/client, because they will be called again and will have to spend valuable time either reevaluating or fobbing off the sales person.

Since we all know this happens, why are people still doing it? Continue Reading »

I recently conducted ‘Critical Skills for Leaders and Senior Managers’ in Singapore and Malaysia; during these programs I surveyed the participants for their desired take-aways – 80% of the attendees wanted to know how to influence their boss.

Research has shown that the inability to build a successful relationship with the boss is a significant reason for managers failing or not reaching their full potential.

When I approach this topic I encounter a number of mindsets that lead to an inability to effectively influence, these include:

• My boss is autocratic
• My boss doesn’t listen to me
• I don’t want to jeopardise my career
• I have no power in the relationship
• My boss doesn’t give me time

Do any of these sound familiar? Continue Reading »

The ability to speak effectively to small or large audiences is a vital competency for manager and leaders and yet this competency is often lacking.

As a Certified Professional Speaker myself, I have spoken to thousands of people over the years and experienced the first hand what to do and what not to do with an audience. As an executive coach I have trained and coached hundred’s of managers who were previously tongue tied to connect with the audience and deliver their message effectively; so allow me to share with you a secret of public and professional speaking:

There is no such thing as an audience

The biggest mistake that novice speaker make is to imagine their perspective audience as critical or hostile. Creating this mental picture of a group united in their disapproval of you will create a state of anxiety in even the strongest of heart.

Accomplished speakers realise that an audience, small or large, is made up of individuals just like you. Each individual has needs and wants and can change their state from boredom to curiosity. If you connect to their needs and wants and create a sense of curiosity they will be on the edge of thier seats.

So the first key to successful public or professional speaking is to break down your audience into a group of individuals and preferably know what it is they want before you deliver your topic.

Most of the work in speaking is not the speech itself but the research and preparation before the speech. Only speak “off the cuff” if you know your topic backwards and know exactly who you are talking to.

As you present make eye contact, smile and imagine you are having a conversation with a group of friends or colleagues. Will it still be nerve wracking? Perhaps but the only way to get better at it is to practice at every opportunity. Remember, as we move up through an organisation, we are paid less for what we do an more for what we influence others to do. Speaking in public is a core competency for influence.

If you are interested in professional speaking training or coaching please contact us.

A couple of yeas ago I was rushing to meet a new client, a CEO who required some coaching; as I was running short of time I chose to miss lunch and go straight to the appointment.

I was greeted at the company by the company’s communications manager who was to show me to the boardroom to meet the CEO. She politely asked me if she could get me anything, perhaps thinking I might need a tea or coffee. My response was, Continue Reading »

Every executive knows that they must have a vision and mission statement but in times of crisis these important documents can be forgotten.

It is a bit like if you were in a boat and have set your course, but the boat springs a leak and you spend your whole time bailing water and have no time to steer.

William Bridges created a model of change and transition that is highly relevant in today’s financial readjustment. Continue Reading »

Is their a difference between leadership and management? Can managers lead and can leaders manage?

These are perennial questions in the field of leadership development and the answers vary depending on who you talk to.

The concept of a leadership pipeline is that as we start supervising/managing we will be more transactional (performance management) and as we move up through the organisation we will become more transformational (visionary/inspiring). Continue Reading »

Confidence is a key success factor for modern managers and leaders and yet many lack confidence in the following areas:

1. Managing downwards when subordinates have higher qualifications or are qualified in a different discipline
2. Influencing peers or external stakeholder when there is no direct authority
3. Managing upwards even in a matrix organisation Continue Reading »

I have been an executive coach in Australia and Singapore for some years and I have seen some significant changes in the acceptance and application of executive coaching.

Harvard Business Review (HBR Jan 09) has just published a review of the field of executive coaching and makes some significant points on how to effectively use executive coaching as a self-leadership or business tool. Continue Reading »