The ideal Mentee is:

High potential, commmited to their career, hungry to learn and disciplined enough to execute what they have learned.

In short, the ideal mentee is leadership material.

An ideal Mentor is:  

• Someone who has experience in field (they have been there before).
• Someone interested in developing others.
• Someone prepared to take another by the hand and guide them through the territory.
• Someone who asks questions that the mentee doesn’t ask themselves but ought to.
• Someone trustworthy who inspires confidence.
• Someone who will be there in time of need.

The Mentor needs to develop the following skills

1. Supporting
2. Listening
3. Validating growth and development (Cheer leading)
4. Questioning
5. Giving feedback to behaviours and skills
6. Guiding and offering perspective

At our mentor trainings we work on all these skills, but perhaps the most difficult is questioning. Questioning, because the art of mentoring is in the balance between guiding and self-discovery. In medicine, prescription without diagnosis is malpractice; it is therefore essential for the mentor to fully understand the mentee and their situation before offering advice. What worked for the mentor might not work for the mentee or their situation.

After asking questions the mentor can use his or her experience to point out ‘traps for young players’ such as misplaced priorities and pot holes that the mentee has not yet seen. An important role for the mentor is to help the mentee align their goals and values to those of the organization. Ultimately, the mentoring relationship can only be successful when the mentee takes their destiny in their own hands and takes action to achieve their goals.

The Principle of Mentoring

The principle of mentoring is to balance challenge with support. Too much challenge with not enough support and the mentee shuts down. Too much support and not enough challenge and the mentee just feels validated in their status quo.

If the mentor does too much for the mentee, they may actually compromise the mentees ability to reach their full potential. Ideally, when the correct frame of mind is identified the mentee will facilitate the mentee to integrate that and to take action.

Questioning

Here some ‘starter’ questions to use when mentoring.

• What do you want to get out of this session?
• What are your career objectives?
•  What is happening for you now?
• How do you know this?
• How do you feel about what is going on?
• What judgments are you making about people, the company or this situation?
• What have you learned from that?
• What do you most need from me right now?
• What questions does that raise?
• What result do you want?
• What options are open to you now?
• What is your biggest difficulty or problem?
• How can I help you move forwards on this issue?
• Can you think of three options for action?
• What are the pros and cons of each of these options?
• What first steps are you going to take before our next meeting?
• Whose responsibility is it to make this happen?
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to do this action?

Mentoring is NOT telling someone what to do or just giving advice. When the Mentor asks questions they allow the Mentee to reflect and synthesise and prepares them to apply new behaviours.

Done well, mentoring is beneficial for the mentor, the mentee and the organisation in terms of engagement, sharing  of knowledge and most importantly developing future leaders.

Done badly, mentoring becomes a chore for senior managers and increases the cynicism of would be high potentials. For more on this read the post, ‘Does Singapore Lack Leadership Skills?’

The Singapore Ministry of Manpower states (Sept 2008) that whilst most CEO’s in Singapore expressed a willingness to develop the next generation of leaders, very few of them are proactive and strategic in doing so.

This NATO (no action talk only) will result in Singaporean managers being unable to cope with the dynamic state of today’s marketplace and workforce.

For Leadership development in Singapore, what is sadly lacking are the culture and skills of mentoring and coaching. Senior leaders in Singapore are, by upbringing,either traditionalists or baby boomers and their values differ markedly from the Gen X and Gen Y managers who need developing. The former usually value ‘a job well done’ and the the ‘trappings of success’, whereas the latter are hungry for meaningful work and are very open to coaching and mentoring as they value personal development.

A Gallup study showed that whilst most CEO’s ‘mentored’ by taking employees to lunch, very few had any formal mentoring programs in place. It is my experience, having worked with many Singapore companies, that most current leaders, whilst tactically very proficient, have received little or no coaching or mentoring training.

Leaders are ‘made not born‘ and most develop their leadership during adverse work situations – just like what is happening now! Unfortunately a number of organisations are currently cutting their leadership development budgets rather than focusing on what will make the difference in the long-term.

What do you think? Please comment.

BTW: I shall be speaking on this very issue at the Global HR Leadership Congress 2009

(Copyright Andrew Bryant – No reproduction without permission, thank you )