An intention is a frame of mind that drives action, when you have a clearly defined intention you gain a laser like focus and begin to take action. Effective execution occurs when intentions are transformed into well thought out behaviours.

People can often read your intentions but the world rewards your effective execution. Here are four questions to ask:

• What is it you want to do?
• What actions do you need to take?
• What will be the effect of those actions?
• Will these effects be in line with your intention?

Here is a short video on intentionality when it comes to public speaking:

Related posts

• What do Children Teach us about Leadership? (2)
• Stress to Success (1)
• Permission to Succeed (0)
• Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking (1)
• Winning the Communication Skills Game (0)

1. Modeling Behaviour

Every parent knows that children are great mimics, they watch you like a hawk and duplicate your behaviour. This can be amusing, as when Tasha first started painting her nails after watching my wife or Nathan picking up my tennis racket and saying, “like daddy.” The dark side of this modeling is when children mimic the aggressive behaviour of adults, which was demonstrated by  Dr. Albert Bandura with the Bobo Doll experiment and is evidenced in war torn areas of the world where children carry weapons.

Adults to0 model behaviour which is why the leaders of any team or organisation must “walk the talk”, they must be the model for the behaviours they wish to see duplicated. Talk is cheap – action is real.

2. Validation

Both Tasha and Nathan like to clap themselves when they do something right and they both beam when Zurina and I give them praise. As a leadership consultant I know how important it is that I continue to praise even moderately good performance as research by Dr Ethna Reid shows that teachers who get the best results, validate regularly. Successful teachers also alternate between teaching and questioning (testing) for comprehension.

In leadership and management in a hectic paced world it is all too easy to criticise poor performance and to tell rather than ask. In our leadership for managers program, we emphasise and rehearse the arts of validation and asking good questions.

3. Story Telling

Children love stories and interpret our cultural moral code from those stories. Tasha knows who are the good princesses (coutesy of Disney) and who is the evil queen, Nathan is learning from Thomas the Tank Engine that when you break the rules you go off the rails, he even exclaims very loudly “oh no!” when this happens.

Effective leaders also tell stories that let their followers know what the vision and culture of the organisation is. These stories get retold and strongly influence the behaviour of the team or workforce. When I was teaching coaching skills at Singapore Airlines I noticed how they regularly used stories of  exemplary customer service to validate and reinforce the behaviour of going the extra mile service (GEMS).

Perhaps you have other Leadership Principles you have learned from children – feel free to share.

Related posts

• Creating a New Vision after the Meltdown (0)
• Change a Behaviour, Coach your Children, and other forms of Influence (1)
• Transformational Leadership (4)
• What is Coaching? (1)
• HR Summit Singapore 2009 (0)

If you give enough presentations, there’s a good chance that someday you’re going to find yourself the target of an uncooperative or hostile audience member. As in most crisis situations, you will be in good stead to have a plan of how to respond. There are many verbal techniques available which will help you handle hostile or difficult audiences, some of which I am able to outline here. These are all tried and tested over the course of the last 10 years during my own personal training and presentation courses. Use them with confidence – they really work!

1. Questions that keep on coming

One of the most common difficulties you’re likely to encounter is a barrage of questions from a single or several audience members. Sometimes these people really want answers to their questions but at other times the interrupter has a hostile motive.

Usually, this sort of person does not want to attack you personally. On the contrary, the questioner is launching an attack on the material that you are presenting. This is a very important distinction, because the most effective way to attack the material that you are presenting is to draw you off topic into areas that you are not prepared to speak about. Don’t go there –stick to your guns and the messages that you have pre-prepared for yourself.

Short sharp concise answers

The least confrontational way of dealing with a constant stream of questions is to answer each question as briefly as possible. Limit your answers to one breath in length. And before stating your answer, ask yourself if this material will be covered later in your presentation. If it will be, tell the interrupter that the material will be covered later. Don’t expand on your answer, because lengthy replies containing additional details will only serve to give the questioner additional opportunity. After giving your succinct brief answer, go straight into the next topic.

While you may not want to take time to answer unexpected and off the topic questions, if the interrupter is an authority figure, you may feel obligated to do just that and answer the questions. Remember, keeping your answers brief minimises the negative effect of the interruptions and allows you to move on.

Set Limits

Setting limits is a great way to discourage constant interruptions. State the limits at the outset of your delivery and tell the audience why these limits will benefit them.

Acknowledge and Delay

Please don’t ignore a question. Doing so may be taken as a sign of hostility on your part. Even if questions are inappropriate or ill-timed, try to acknowledge them.
If short answers and setting limits haven’t deterred interruptions, acknowledge the question but delay the answer. By using bridging techniques which are words or phrases which allow you to acknowledge and move on, no-one will ever think you rude and dismissive.

2. Off-topic Questions and Discussions

A handful of off-topic questions from your audience shouldn’t pose a problem for you. However, if they are many, a problem may well exist. If the off-topic questions emanate from several people, this could be a sign that your presentation is unsuitable.

If the off-topic questions stem from one person, then your presentation may be unsuitable for that person or the person may be hostile to your material. The interrupter may be trying to make your material look bad because he or she will benefit from its failure.

Ask for Relevance

One technique for dealing with an off-topic question is to ask for its relevance to the current topic. This must be done tactfully, to avoid offending or embarrassing the questioner. The sooner you can relate the question to the current topic, the sooner you can tell the audience member that the answer can be found in another part of your presentation.

Write Down Questions

If there are a stream of off-topic questions that you can’t relate directly to your course material, you could offer the audience the opportunity of writing down their questions in the hope that you will answer as many as possible at the conclusion of your presentation.

3. Confrontational Questions

When dealing with a confrontational question, separate the attitude of the questioner from the content of the question.

Separate Content from Tone and Restate calmly.

Separating the tone of a question from its content defuses a question. If the tone is challenging and you respond to the tone, with a challenging or sarcastic response, you decrease your credibility. Never ever lose your cool. If you display emotion, the game is up.

If however the content poses a legitimate question, and you are able to rephrase and restate the question in a conciliatory way, all confrontation will be defused.
When faced with a confrontational question or statement, pause and look for the legitimate question within it. Restate it and answer it as honestly and completely as you can. You will have turned an obstacle to your advantage.

Address Hostility behind Closed Doors

If defusing hostile comments doesn’t work well, you may need to speak privately with the questioner. Keep the discussion focused strictly on the training process, not on their problem and offer to have a chat with the person at the conclusion of the event.

Remember that if someone or a group of people start being disruptive during your presentation, you won’t be the only one who’ll be annoyed or upset. You can use the audience to support you in dealing with difficult members within it. You are the speaker and therefore the person in control. Don’t let one audience member ruin it for everyone else.

Tips for Answering Difficult Questions:

1. Treat your audience with the respect you’d like to have shown to you. Answer their questions directly and honestly.

2. “I don’t know” is a very acceptable answer to some difficult questions. So relax. Never feel like you do have to know everything.

3. If you’re asked a question and you feel you should know the answer, please consider saying: “Thank you. That’s a very interesting question. I’ll have to get back to you on that, after I’ve spoken to (whomever).”

4. Set a time and a time limit for questions
In any presentation it’s always a good idea to set a time when the audience can ask questions. It’s also good to set a limit to that question time.

5. Never end your presentations with a Q and A session
While it’s great to keep the questions until after you’ve spoken, please make sure that you have the last word. Literally. When you’ve answered questions, be sure to end your presentation with a strong assertion of your main message(s).

Sandy Kaye offers Presentation Skills Training and Media Skills Training in Australia and Singapore with Self Leadership International.

Related posts

• Winning the Communication Skills Game (0)
• What do Children Teach us about Leadership? (2)
• Transformational Leadership (4)
• Putting a Price on Word of Mouth (0)
• Public and Professional Speaking (2)