Self Leadership Coaching Blog

If you are a baby boomer manager (47 to 67 years old) you will probably have experienced the challenge of getting loyalty and productivity from your Gen Y employees (20-32 years old).

Gen Y’s, often called millennials, and the younger Gen X’ers (still in their 30’s) typically have high self-esteem, a global perspective and are optimistic. They are driven by immediacy and innovation but what they often lack is the ability to speak up appropriately and listen to their more experienced colleagues.

Self-leadership is about being more successful and effective from the inside-out and self-leadership cultures are characterized by autonomy and responsibility. In this article I am suggesting that promoting self-leadership is a strategy to harness the innovation and energy of Gen Y’s with a slight shift in leadership style by senior managers.

Self-leaders are self-aware and confident; they set goals and motivate themselves to achieve these goals. This type of behavior is productive for an organization when the goals the self-leader sets are in alignment with the company’s vision and values. Baby boomers and older Gen X’ers have often had goals set for them and when they become leaders in an organization expect their employees to not only conform to the goal but go about achieving it in the same way they would.

Conforming is not a driver for Gen Y’s who prefer a fluid network of connections rather than a rigid hierarchy of authority. Telling a Gen Y what and how to do their job is de-motivating for them, as they expect to be listened to and disengage if they are not.

How then do we resolve the generation gap?

Baby Boomers and older Gen X’ers must accept that a job is no longer about just making a living; it is about making a living and having a life. Finding meaning and purpose in work is what self-leaders do and is healthy regardless of what age you are. We must keep asking, “Why are we doing this?” and not just make this a top down directive but ask everyone in the company. Gen Y’s love to be listened to, so why not create forums for them to share their ideas about why what they do is important? Self-leadership research shows that people are much more productive when they have a purpose.

“Live, learn and play” is a theme for Gen Y’s; they have blurred the line between work and life and for them work-life balance is not necessarily going home early but being able to have a life at work. What would this look like in your organization? There are various approaches to making work a fun and learning environment such as ‘Fish Philosophy’ by Stephen C. Lundin and rotating roles regularly. I recently heard Amy Lynch of Bridgeworks talk about Thomson Reuters who, when hiring straight from university give employees not one job but three jobs lasting 9 months each. Gen Y’s experience this as rapid learning and rapid career advancement – two things that are very important to them staying in a job!

Relationships matter and Gen Y’s expect their managers to be caring, inspiring and competent. The caring piece might be a tough ask for senior managers who had no experience of being cared for in their career – the answer is coaching. Coaching, when done properly, is about listening, which equates to being cared for by Gen Y employees. Leaders must develop their coaching skills which, in addition to listening, includes co-creating goals and targets which is inspiring, rather than telling – which is not.

Finally I want to talk about respect and responsibility; these are two important values for baby boomer which Gen Y need to learn to observe if they are going to be successful. We need to be telling Gen Y’s, “Yes, you are innovative, yes, we will listen to you and in return we expect you to share your ideas and innovations without insulting the hard work that has gone before you and we expect you take responsibility for managing yourself to achieve your goals.”

The world has changed. The advent of personal computing in the 1990’s and the mobile connectivity advancements in the 2000’s means everything happens faster and globally. Gen Y’s are digital natives but have not had to develop the patience and resilience that build the self-leadership of older generations and so we need to learn from each other if we are going to continue to live, love, learn and play.

In our book ‘Self-leadership’ (due in stores Sept 2012) my co-author, Ana Kazan Ph.D. and I make the following statement:

“There are no fairy godmothers – If you want to be transformed, to be free, you must do the work; you are the hero, you are your own savior.”

This does not mean we deny the importance of faith, in fact our research shows that sprituality is linked with stronger self-leadership; what it does mean is that you must take responsibility for your own success – blaming others for your circumstances or prayer without action is futile.

Life is not fair, we are not all born with parents who validate our self-esteem and provide opportunities for us to learn and grow; sometimes circumstances are downright cruel. But success is measured not by what you have but how much you have grown inside and this comes by motivating yourself to overcome obstacles and live with purpose.

Mythologist Joseph Cambell tracked the hero’s journey, a common them in all cultures (and Hollywood), which is the process by which we are called to action, to a higher purpose (think about Neo in the Matrix or Luke in Starwars). The hero initially refuses the call and may even run away (Jonah and the whale) but on meeting a guide or mentor sets out on an outer and inner journer of discovery, challenge and growth.

We are all heroes or heroines, just living with purpose and integrity in today’s world takes courage and perseverence. Hopefully you are lucky enough to have a mentor (or coach) to guide you but ultimately you must seek the answers within. Ultimately self-leadership is about finding what motivates you and managing your distractions so that you become effective.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described the state of ‘flow’ those periods when you are totally engaged in what your are doing and time just ‘goes away’. When we are in flow we are experiencing natural self-motivation and what we are doing gives us a clue about our purpose. For me, flow happens when I am coaching or speaking to an audience about how they can improve their self-leadership. What is it for you?

Organizations have often ignored the power of self-motivation in favour of offering ‘stick and carrot’ style approaches to getting people to work better. Heroes, can work alone or together combining their powers and covering for each other to make powerful teams.

Even heroes have doubts and a negative inner dialogue can be kryptonite to your superman. The hero recognizes that success is a journey and that their will be setbacks and failures but these are learning experiences that prepare him or her for the next challenge. The hero knows that they must live by a personal code of ethics and if they stay true to this, regardless of what happens externally, they will be a success.

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”
Joseph Campbell

One good idea well implemented could change your business, your relationships or your life. So why not invest 1-day for you and your team to be inspired, motivated and exposed to some of the best ideas to increase productivity,  communication, sales, impact and effectiveness in 2011?

In Singapore, on Feburary 24, 2011 myself and eight of Asia’s top professional speakers will showcase cutting edge ideas and techniques to Raise your Game in 2011. You and hear; Tim Wade on ‘Productivity Mindset’,  Tina Altieri on ‘Presenting to Win’, Santhanaram Jayaram on ‘Resistance to Irrisitable’, Tremaine Du Preez on ”Conquering Critical Challenges’, Sharon Connelly on ‘Dressing Like a Leader’, Kenneth Kwan on ‘Master Your Inner Self’ and Bob Mittelsdorf on ‘Managing Global Teams’. I will be sharing my latest research and practical applicatons of self-leadership and the whole action-packed day will be MC’d by the effervescent Shirley Taylor.

As the investment is minimal and a portion of profits go to Project Smile, can you afford to miss out on this unique event?

Full details are on the Asia Professional Speakers website or you can contact Self Leadership International in Singapore for tickets. See you there?

Today is auspicious, being 1-1-11 and the first day of a new decade. As the year clicks over on the calendar it is customary to make New Year’s Resolutions and it is also customary to break them a few days later; which begs the question, “Can we change ourselves for the better?”

From a self-leadership perspective, the answer lies in the question – to change we must change our ‘selves’. ‘Self’  is a matrix of frames of mind which includes our self beliefs and values which make up our ‘identify’ and we tend to conform to our identity. In short you behave to meet your expectations of how your ‘see’ yourself. Continue Reading »

How do you know when your employees are feeling disengaged or demotivated?

The following behavioural markers should give you a clue:

• Following the letter of the instruction rather than the spirit as evidenced by, ‘But you didn’t tell me to do X” when X was implied by the instruction and necessary to the completion of the task.
• Going early and coming late, using up all sick days and even taking unpaid leave days. Days off are mostly on a Monday or Friday.
• Increase use of social media, youtube and instant messaging at work.
• Silence – not contributing to discussions or dialogues.

When I am conducting workshopswithin an organisation I hear the following complaints from dis-empowered of demotivated employees:

• “My boss doesn’t listen.”
• “Why isn’t my boss here as he needs to hear this stuff?”
• “Why don’t senior management do what it says in the value statement?”
• “I can’t influence head office in USA/Europe and they make unreasonable demand on my time and resources.”

Motivated and enaged employees are more creative and productive; disengaged employees will lose customers, money and have more accidents at work. Therefore to re-engage employees you should talk to your staff and listen to the answers. Ask questions like;

• “What do you like best about working here?”
• “What do you like least about working here?”
• “What would you change if you could?”

Of course if you ask these questions you must be prepared to do something about the answers otherwise it will increase cynicism.

And what if you are feeling de-motivated and disengaged? Then get back in touch with what your work means to you above  and beyond the paycheck. What about your work gives you an intrinsic sense of achievement? Ask yourself, “if this was my company, how would I behaving?” Above all look for the fun and pride in what you do because your work is an extension of who you are (see posts on Self Leadership).

It is more than a year ago that I walked through the door of the Self Leadership International office for the first time. I was a young graduate of psychology, coming all the way from Romania to learn about training and leadership development in Singapore; with very little idea of what my internship will bring about.

Now, one year later, I can whole heartedly say that it was the greatest learning experience of my life.

Continue Reading »

As a continuation of my previous blog post Permission to Succeed I wanted to share the story of a coaching client who was allowing a number of people, some no longer living, to control what he was or was not allowed to do. This man in his late 30′s did not have full permission to think for himself, to really choose the life he wanted. The anxiety this caused was seriously impeding his success.

With self leadership coaching he came to the powerful realisation that it his ‘Mind’ his ‘Choices’ and his ‘Life’.

If, like my client, you are lacking ‘permission’ by taking ownership and responsibility of your mind, your choices an your life puts you in the drivers seat and enables you to create the personal or business success you want.

Confirmation of this power to choose is the theme of the final part of The Matrix movie trilogy. The character Neo is able to triumph over Agent Smith when, after prompting from The Oracle, he re-discovers his power of choice.

Is there an area in your life or career that you have been saying “I have no choice”? I wonder what would happen if you were to take responsibility and say; “My mind, my choice, my life!”

My coaching client did take control and left a low paying, menial job and started traveling; he settled in Vietnam where he started a business and met the love of his life.

If you would like coaching to assist you achieve this positive and powerful choice then connect to a coach or attend one of our self leadership programs.

This blog post is prompted by a conversation I had last week with someone who had just learned the hard way that not doing the right thing costs on the inside even when it doesn’t cost on the outside.

The dictionary definition of integrity describes it as having a consistency of actions, values and principles. I like to describe integrity as, “doing the right thing even when no one is looking”.

So how does not being consistent with your actions cost you? Continue Reading »

I am currently in the land of smiles (Thailand) teaching a leadership development program for a pharmaceutical company. At the end of the first day I wandered out of my hotel looking to stretch my legs and get something to eat. I chose a restaurant with al fresco dining so that I could watch the world go by.

The waitress arrived, and after taking my order ventured to practice her English by asking, “how are you tomorrow?” I smiled and chuckled and said that I intended to have a really good day tomorrow and that I was also having a good day today. Continue Reading »

Just a quick note to let any of our readers know that I will be in Thailand twice this month, conducting leadership training.

If anyone is interested in meeting me to discuss your leadership or executive coaching requirements feel free to contact me via the Self Leadership website contact page www.selfleadership.com.

Look forward to hearing from you – Andrew Bryant