In Singapore, on Feburary 24, 2011 myself and eight of Asia’s top professional speakers will showcase cutting edge ideas and techniques to Raise your Game in 2011. You and hear; Tim Wade on ‘Productivity Mindset’,  Tina Altieri on ‘Presenting to Win’, Santhanaram Jayaram on ‘Resistance to Irrisitable’, Tremaine Du Preez on ”Conquering Critical Challenges’, Sharon Connelly on ‘Dressing Like a Leader’, Kenneth Kwan on ‘Master Your Inner Self’ and Bob Mittelsdorf on ‘Managing Global Teams’. I will be sharing my latest research and practical applicatons of self-leadership and the whole action-packed day will be MC’d by the effervescent Shirley Taylor.

As the investment is minimal and a portion of profits go to Project Smile, can you afford to miss out on this unique event?

Full details are on the Asia Professional Speakers website or you can contact Self Leadership International in Singapore for tickets. See you there?

From a self-leadership perspective, the answer lies in the question – to change we must change our ‘selves’. ‘Self’  is a matrix of frames of mind which includes our self beliefs and values which make up our ‘identify’ and we tend to conform to our identity. In short you behave to meet your expectations of how your ‘see’ yourself.

Ignoring the philosophical problem of who is the self that sees the self, the key to making a change in behaviour and a resoltion that sticks is to see your self in a new way.

In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) there is technique known as the SWISH pattern and Positive Psychology has a similar intervention known as Best Possible Self.

The Swish works by imagining yourself as “the you for whom there is no problem”. For example if you procrastinate to exercise, overspend on  your credit card or lack confidence with new people, then you construct a ‘mental image’ of the you that can easily and successfully handle these, and other, situations. Once you have a rich and comprehensive idea of what the ‘new you’ would look like, sound like and feel like, you ‘step into’ this identity and believe and value this as the you that will move into the future.

Best Possible Self is similar with a diary option. 1 ) Imagine yourself in the future. 2) Imagine everything has gone about as well as it could have, and you have gotten most of the things that are important to you. 3) Spend 10 to 20 minutes of free writing describing this person.

You have heard of self-fulfilling prophesy, so why not write the prophesy you want fulfilled? Personally I am going to combine both techniques to ensure my 2011 is my best year ever. What about you?

How do you know when your employees are feeling disengaged or demotivated?

The following behavioural markers should give you a clue:

• Following the letter of the instruction rather than the spirit as evidenced by, ‘But you didn’t tell me to do X” when X was implied by the instruction and necessary to the completion of the task.
• Going early and coming late, using up all sick days and even taking unpaid leave days. Days off are mostly on a Monday or Friday.
• Increase use of social media, youtube and instant messaging at work.
• Silence – not contributing to discussions or dialogues.

When I am conducting workshopswithin an organisation I hear the following complaints from dis-empowered of demotivated employees:

• “My boss doesn’t listen.”
• “Why isn’t my boss here as he needs to hear this stuff?”
• “Why don’t senior management do what it says in the value statement?”
• “I can’t influence head office in USA/Europe and they make unreasonable demand on my time and resources.”

Motivated and enaged employees are more creative and productive; disengaged employees will lose customers, money and have more accidents at work. Therefore to re-engage employees you should talk to your staff and listen to the answers. Ask questions like;

• “What do you like best about working here?”
• “What do you like least about working here?”
• “What would you change if you could?”

Of course if you ask these questions you must be prepared to do something about the answers otherwise it will increase cynicism.

And what if you are feeling de-motivated and disengaged? Then get back in touch with what your work means to you above  and beyond the paycheck. What about your work gives you an intrinsic sense of achievement? Ask yourself, “if this was my company, how would I behaving?” Above all look for the fun and pride in what you do because your work is an extension of who you are (see posts on Self Leadership).

It is more than a year ago that I walked through the door of the Self Leadership International office for the first time. I was a young graduate of psychology, coming all the way from Romania to learn about training and leadership development in Singapore; with very little idea of what my internship will bring about.

Now, one year later, I can whole heartedly say that it was the greatest learning experience of my life.

Not only did I learn tremendously in the area of leadership development, but even more importantly I developed myself imensely on a personal level. I can’t possibly name all the things I learnt, as it would be a post too long for anyone to read…but I do want to share with you three of the most important ones:

1. The importance of open and honest communication

A lot of companies actually have this somewhere in their guidelines, but in the Self Leadership office this was indeed a ground rule. And it was great to realize how saying things openly and directly can make so much of a difference in my working relationships, in the way I related to my colleagues and in the overall atmosphere in the office.

It also leads to no politics, as everybody knows pretty much everything and there is no need to hide anything. Plus, the most powerful breakthrough for me was to start saying what I thought, even if I was afraid. I especially refer to giving negative feedback or to stating opinions contrary to the others.

With self leadership coaching he came to the powerful realisation that it his ‘Mind’ his ‘Choices’ and his ‘Life’.

If, like my client, you are lacking ‘permission’ by taking ownership and responsibility of your mind, your choices an your life puts you in the drivers seat and enables you to create the personal or business success you want.

Confirmation of this power to choose is the theme of the final part of The Matrix movie trilogy. The character Neo is able to triumph over Agent Smith when, after prompting from The Oracle, he re-discovers his power of choice.

Is there an area in your life or career that you have been saying “I have no choice”? I wonder what would happen if you were to take responsibility and say; “My mind, my choice, my life!”

My coaching client did take control and left a low paying, menial job and started traveling; he settled in Vietnam where he started a business and met the love of his life.

If you would like coaching to assist you achieve this positive and powerful choice then connect to a coach or attend one of our self leadership programs.

This blog post is prompted by a conversation I had last week with someone who had just learned the hard way that not doing the right thing costs on the inside even when it doesn’t cost on the outside.

The dictionary definition of integrity describes it as having a consistency of actions, values and principles. I like to describe integrity as, “doing the right thing even when no one is looking”.

So how does not being consistent with your actions cost you?

When you say you will do a thing and you don’t carry it out, those who you committed to will not trust your word or future deeds and more importantly your unconscious mind won’t trust you either.

With Self-leadership we set a course to achieve an objective and we make commitments to ourself to follow through. Successful people understand that they must do what they say they will do because that builds, self-confidence and self belief to push through obstacles and rejection. Not following through on our commitments may seem easier in the short term but it will make the next thing you commit to less likely to succeed.

People who have started diet plans, exercise regimes or saving strategies know exactly what I mean. If you have quit before, you begin to self-doubt you ability to stay the course the next time and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Trust is a precious commodity, once lost it is most difficult to regain. By making sure your words and deeds are always in alignment you will never have to worry about losing trust.

When my friend told me about not fulfilling a commitment I told him that whilst I cared for him, I was now disappointed in his actions because integrity is such a strong value for me. He assured me that he had learned his lesson but I told him that he will only know this when he next commits to something and follows through, even if it costs him.

Walk your talk and make sure your actions follow sound principles and you will find life gets easier not harder. As wiseman once said, “where there is choice there is pain, the only true freedom is true commitment.”

The waitress arrived, and after taking my order ventured to practice her English by asking, “how are you tomorrow?” I smiled and chuckled and said that I intended to have a really good day tomorrow and that I was also having a good day today.

Her accidental phrase left me thinking because I had just spent most of the day teaching a group of senior managers that they were in control of their thoughts and feelings; in this context how are you tomorrow is not such as silly question.

As I have explained in previous blog posts, self leadership requires self confidence but it also requires self-determination. Self-determination is the free choice to determine one’s behaviours and therefore influence our own destiny. How are we tomorrow will in part be due to what we do today.

Self determination is also defined as the  freedom of the people of a given territory to determine their own political status. With the current situation in Iran we see a people passionately attempting to self determine their tomorrow. This situation is a powerful reminder that if we currently enjoy the freedom to exercise our own choice to live and create our own tomorrows we should be truly grateful. Even with the current economic changes we can still take action today  to make sure tomorrow is a better one.

Here is wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous tomorrow.

If anyone is interested in meeting me to discuss your leadership or executive coaching requirements feel free to contact me via the Self Leadership website contact page www.selfleadership.com.

Look forward to hearing from you – Andrew Bryant

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. ”
- William Shakespeare, “Measure for Measure”, Act 1 scene 4

Self Confidence is a critical skill for success and as an executive coach I often encounter people who sabotage their success by lack of confidence.

I think it is helpful to realise that confidence is not the belief that everything will turn out well; confidence is an acceptance of the consequences of any situation no matter whether they are good or bad and the belief that you can deal with them.

The self confident individual does not dwell on negative consequences because they don’t fear failure but see it as feedback for further improvement.

With self confidence as part of your self leadership you will not worry what others think of you but focus on the adjustment you need to make to your communication or behaviour to achieve your outcomes.

Using feedback to improve performance is likely to create positive results which in turn reinforce self confidence creating the belief that you will succeed again.

Self confidence should not be mistaken for over confidence or arrogance; such people do not have the self awareness to learn from feedback and have no concern for the input of others or how their actions affect others.

So the frames of mind that create self confidence are:

• Belief in your ability to learn
• There is no failure only feedback and feedback is just information for improvement
• Flexibility to do or say it in a different way
• Resilience to set-backs
• Persistence to see it through

Do you need to increase your self confidence today?