An intention is a frame of mind that drives action, when you have a clearly defined intention you gain a laser like focus and begin to take action. Effective execution occurs when intentions are transformed into well thought out behaviours.

People can often read your intentions but the world rewards your effective execution. Here are four questions to ask:

• What is it you want to do?
• What actions do you need to take?
• What will be the effect of those actions?
• Will these effects be in line with your intention?

Here is a short video on intentionality when it comes to public speaking:

The list could go on for several pages but I think you get the idea, you can choose who you want to be and what you want to do without breaking any universal, moral or government laws. To be successful you must first step back and realise – No permission is required.

“Isn’t this approach selfish?” I am often asked by students and clients, my answer is definitely “no” but this issue is more eloquently answered by Marianne Williamson in her book ‘A Return to Love’:

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you… your playing small does not serve the world… as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I was recently asked, “Shouldn’t we find out what others think first?” Whilst at Self Leadership International we teach the art of feedback, you must be careful – if you solicit opinions from the wrong people you’re likely to reach the wrong conclusions – remember that the personal computer didn’t research very well in the 1970s and Richard Branson was told that the airline business was saturated.

So my question to you in this blog is “What is it that you want to do but are not doing because you are waiting for permission?”

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. ”
- William Shakespeare, “Measure for Measure”, Act 1 scene 4

Self Confidence is a critical skill for success and as an executive coach I often encounter people who sabotage their success by lack of confidence.

I think it is helpful to realise that confidence is not the belief that everything will turn out well; confidence is an acceptance of the consequences of any situation no matter whether they are good or bad and the belief that you can deal with them.

The self confident individual does not dwell on negative consequences because they don’t fear failure but see it as feedback for further improvement.

With self confidence as part of your self leadership you will not worry what others think of you but focus on the adjustment you need to make to your communication or behaviour to achieve your outcomes.

Using feedback to improve performance is likely to create positive results which in turn reinforce self confidence creating the belief that you will succeed again.

Self confidence should not be mistaken for over confidence or arrogance; such people do not have the self awareness to learn from feedback and have no concern for the input of others or how their actions affect others.

So the frames of mind that create self confidence are:

• Belief in your ability to learn
• There is no failure only feedback and feedback is just information for improvement
• Flexibility to do or say it in a different way
• Resilience to set-backs
• Persistence to see it through

Do you need to increase your self confidence today?

Motivation provides the energy and emotion for us to take action, but did you know that motivation has two directions?

Effective motivation occurs when we are mobilised to move away from what we don’t want and are strongly drawn to what we do want. Motivation is like a rocket with a strong propulsion system to escape gravity and a guidance system to direct it to the target.

If we only want to move away from what we don’t want but do not have a clear picture of our destination we are likely to make bad choices, and if we have an idea about what we want but are still comfortable doing what we are doing, nothing will change.

To build a strong motivational propulsion system requires tapping into your mind’s powerful ability to visualise.

Start with creating a strong image of how you would like things to be, imagine anything is possible, and clearly see yourself has the person who you want to become. Fill in all the details, “what will you look like? what will you be feeling? what will you be saying? Who will be there with you?Where is this happening?” Invest your energy in this thought experiment so that you can actually smell and tast what this future will be like.

Now ask yourself, “do you really want this?” The answer must be a categorical “YES!” for effective motivation.

Now build the ‘Away From’ propulsion. “What will happen if you don’t get your desired future? How will you feel if nothing changes? What if things stay the same for another 5,10, 15 years? Are you ready to do something about this now?”

If you ask yourself these questions you should feel a strong enough force to start taking action towards your future which you will find pulling on you. This creative tension is what has propelled athletes, scientists, entrepreneurs and business people to greater levels of thought and performance.

Once you have completed the visualisation and feel the motivation you must plan; “what steps or  stages are required to reach your target? What resources do you need? Who do you need to talk to? What mindset or attitude must you adopt?”

What you have experienced here is coaching, because coaching directs a person to consider what is possible for them and co-creates an action plan to achieve it.

To your greatest success!

Quick pop quiz: In the last 48 hours have you experienced significant levels of frustration, fatigue, muscle tension, irritability, anger, cynicism, negativity or a feeling of being out of control?

All of these are signs of STRESS.

Success in today’s fast-paced and ever-changing environment requires the ability to effectively manage our own stress in the face of an increasing number of stressors.

A stressor is something that causes you to experience a stress response. The stressor is the cause and the stress response is the effect. The stressor that triggers your stress response can be anything from a ringing phone to the driver in front of you changing lanes without indicating. The stressor may not even be something ‘out there’; it can just be a thought inside your own head.

The stess response occurs whenever we cue our mind-body system in one of two ways. Either we send a message to our brain of “Danger!” Or we send a message of “Enough! Overload!”

Either of these two messages cues the brain to send the body into the Fight/Flight response otherwise known as General Arousal Syndrome (GAS). GAS causes blood to be withdrawn from the brain and stomach and sent to your larger muscle groups; it causes adrenalin to be released into your blood making the heart and lungs beat faster, pupil dilation and sweating. In addition; fats, cholesterol and sugar in your blood stream increase, your stomach secretes more acid, your immune system slows down and your thinking shifts to a more black-and-white, survival mode.

In today’s business world we cannot succeed by physically fighting or flight, we therefore need to manage our thinking and behaviours to rise above the stressors.

The first step in stress management is awareness; awareness of the stressors in your work and home life and your usual stress response. Only through awareness and Self Leadership can we gain control and direct our energies towards successful actions. A strong word of caution, denial can be lethal both financially and physically, so take a moment now and think about what pushes your stress buttons?

Stressors include:

• Not enough time
• Not enough clients/business
• Being kept on hold
• Paperwork/bureaucracy
• People not being trustworthy
• Delays
• Interruptions
• Incompetence

Are any of these, stressors buttons for you? Anything  else?

What about internal stressors such as the following thoughts?

• “I’m not good enough”
• “I don’t know enough”
• “I don’t have the right connections”
• “I’m not smart enough”
• “I need to be perfect”

Do you have any of these thoughts or others like them?

When your buttons are pushed, either from and external or internal stressor, what is your response?

• Breathe holding
• Muscle tension, leading to headaches
• Anger, Frustration
• Shouting
• Depression

You have a choice to interrupt the stressor to stress response and break the cause-effect chain. You can manage your mind-body and emotions because it is this ability that determines the difference between success and mediocrity in any endeavor including business and sport.

Consider Tiger Woods as he steadies himself to take a long put at championship point, with thousands of people watching intently. Watching to see him win or lose. Could you handle the pressure? Well probably not, not without the practice and training that Tiger has had. You can however practice and train yourself to handle the pressure in your chosen endeavour.

Sporting greats such as Tiger Woods have a strategy for handling stress; let me share with you a strategy to propel you to success in your business.

Step 1. Know why you are doing what you are doing. We can withstand any what if we have a big enough why. Your ‘whys’ are you values, what’s important to you.

Examples of values are: Making a difference, independence, profit, caring for family, being in control, balance, health, happiness. So what’s important to you?

Step 2. Keep a note in your diary of when you become stressed and what caused it; this will increase your awareness of how you run your mind-body-emotional states.

Step 3. Interrupt the stressor to stress response. There are many stress interrupt patterns and the best is still breathing. When we start to go into a stressful state we tend to breath hold and tense our muscles, by consciously taking a deep breathe and slowly breathing out fully, you break the cycle. Practicing relaxation techniques is also useful to achieve this.

Step 4. Take the sting out of the stressor – burst its bubble.

When you identify a stressor, ask yourself this question “in terms of what I value, is it useful to get stressed about this?”

Comparing the stressor against your values shrinks it down to size. With the stressor now at a manageable proportion you can ask yourself, “What is a more useful behaviour for me to engage in?” For example if your stressor was not enough new clients, rather than engage in stressful worrying, a more useful behaviour would be to engage in marketing activities to secure new clients.

Step 5. See each stressful situation as an opportunity to increase your skills. Successful people have the ‘frame of mind’ that with every challenge is a chance to improve, they don’t beat themselves up, they focus on what learning’s they can take out of a situation.

By using this strategy you will take control of you mind-body state and so start to take control of your results. You may not be aware that all communication is dependent upon the state you are in. Have you ever tried to say, “I love you” when you are angry? The words are changed by the emotional state. We are all very sensitive to non-verbal signals and your emotional state is broadcasting to everyone you are communicating with. So if you are frustrated, angry or stressed this will be transmitted along with whatever you say. Since the quality of our communication has a direct correlation to our results it is important to manage your state of mind for success.

Between 1991 and 1992 Richard Branson was under attack. His Virgin record company was making money but his vision for Virgin Airways was being blocked by underhanded tactics from British Airways and a lack of support from his own bankers. When Branson blew the whistle on BA, the smear campaign saw the British papers with headlines calling him a liar. Branson could have cut his losses and consolidated his business to the profitable record company. His wife, friends and advisors all suggested that course of action but Branson is an optimist and refused to let the stress get to him. Dr Martin Seligman has discovered that the pessimist is at the mercy of reality, whereas the optimist has a massive defense against reality that maintains good cheer in the face of a relentlessly indifferent universe. It is my observation that the optimist by refusing to accept reality creates their own and therefore determines their results. Branson beat BA and went on to become a billionaire.

Will you back yourself and take charge of your success? Will you use your stressors as the fuel to improve your skills and move to the front of your field? Will you practice the skills daily and move from Stress to Success?