Humor is a great stress reliever with  many positive health benefits and importantly in this current climate it causes us to step back and get a new perspective.

Allow me to share with you what a fun week I have had with the intention of inspiring you to have a little laugh…

On Tuesday night I performed 8 minutes of stand-up comedy; this had been on my bucket list for years as  I  had heard that stand-up is a real test of  skill. The aim of stand-up is to get six laughs a minute which is a hell of an achievement with a group of strangers. I didn’t get 6 laughs a minute but I did get the crowd to laugh as you can see and hear on this YouTube Video.

The unexpected bonus I had from doing stand-up comedy is that I am now seeing funny things in many more places; at work, in the street, in my relationships, everywhere! And the benefit of this is that I feel better at work and my relationships have improved noticeably.

Today we took our staff to lunch as one team member is leaving and another is having a birthday. We had a delicious lunch and with huge servings of laughter; we laughed at so many things and I think that we significantly improved the morale of the team.

One of our associates laughs for up to 5 minutes every morning as part of his preparation for the day – he says it raises his engergy better than a double shot latte. So as you read this just take stock of how much you have laughed this week? Do you need to hire some funny videos or go to a stand up comedy club yourself?

Here’s wishing you fun, lightness and laughter in the days ahead.

Communication

Good communication skills are essential to lead yourself and influence others. Poor communication causes pain, conflict, loss of productivity and profit.

Listen to a  podcast on Communication Skills.

To win the communication game you must know and apply the rules of the game; and the #1 rule of communication is that -  All communication occurs inside a frame.

A communication frame gives the listener reference points to know how to handle the information they hear from you. A communication frame points the listener’s mind in a particular direction and when used correctly will create trust and remove misunderstandings.

Any time we say “In terms of …” we set the boundaries of the discussion and hence the frame. Often two or more people in conflict are actually discussing different topics or perspectives, using “in terms of…” allows us to focus on the specific topic or to challenge people who have gone off topic.

For example:

• “In terms of reaching a decision in the next hour, let me make this point…”
• “In terms of us working together in this team, how would you like me to interpret your behaviour?”
• “In terms of our stated budget, do you think this is a wise purchase?”

Here are some other simple examples of communication frames and how to use them:

The Workshop Frame:
“Just work shopping – what if we did…x”. This frame is great for putting ideas out; it reduces reactions because it sets the frame that it is ok for the other person to give input.

The Sharing Frame:
“I’m just sharing, this is the way I feel about… x”. This frame allows you to share your feelings without the other person needing to take your emotional state personally.

The ‘What if’ Frame:
“I know we have never done this before, but what if we did?” This is a great frame for setting for pushing the boundaries and creative thinking.

There are, of course, frames that you already use and many more you could learn to use. The frames we use in language often reflect our frames of mind, do you have a ‘can do’ frame’? Or do you operate from a ‘can’t do’ frame?

Training yourself to become aware of your frames of mind and frames of speech is a fundamental of self-leadership and using the technology of Neuro Semantics (an evolution of NLP) we can set frames for great relationships, health and even wealth.

Want to know more? For Communication Skills Workshops in Singapore, Australia, Malaysia, India or the Middle East  contact us.

Confidence is a key success factor for modern managers and leaders and yet many lack confidence in the following areas:

1. Managing downwards when subordinates have higher qualifications or are qualified in a different discipline
2. Influencing peers or external stakeholder when there is no direct authority
3. Managing upwards even in a matrix organisation

I had two meetings in Singapore this week where Senior Leaders highlighted a need for increased confidence in the above areas, but I don’t think this issue is just related to Singapore.

With all three scenarios the key to confidence is personal power. Personal Power is like self leadership, it comes from knowing who you are and what’s important and exercising the right to choose.

When managing downwards, managers need to remember Henry Ford who said, “The generalist will always employ the specialist.” The manager doesn’t need to know everything about everyone’s discipline they need to know how to engage smart people to get the job done. Highly specialised people often miss the big picture and don’t connect outside of their discipline. The good leader knows a bit about a lot of different things and can therefore use the best skills or combination of skills within the team to get the job done.

Confidence to influence laterally comes from believing that your idea is a good one and knowing how to communicate the benefits of this idea or action to the other parties. In an age of social networking we should feel confident to socialise our ideas, after all, it is not the best ideas that get adopted but the best supported ideas.

To confidently and successfully manage upwards requires the manager or emerging leader to perceive their superior as a colleague rather than a boss. I don’t mean do away with respect or be over-familiar, but to realise that they are both subservient to the vision of the business/company. Just like influencing laterally, ideas that are framed as beneficial to the business will be well received.

When we succeed a something it builds confidence but we must have the confidence to attempt before we can succeed. If you require confidence to attempt something for the first time, remember Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance – so prepare and then as Nike says, “Just Do It!”

This doesn’t guarantee success everytime but with confidence we know we can receive feedback, learn from our mistakes and do better next time.

BTW this Blog has just made it to the top 100 leadership Blogs