Ask the tough question

•  “Send me some more information!”

• “Let me think it over!”

These are the two statements that most prospective clients use on sales people. And unfortunately, most of them get away with it.

1)      Unfortunate for the sales person, because he or she will need to call again to chase the prospect/client for an answer whilst having no guarantee of the result.

2)      Unfortunate for the prospect/client, because they will be called again and will have to spend valuable time either reevaluating or fobbing off the sales person.

Since we all know this happens, why are people still doing it?

1)      Because clients are often too polite to say “No” upfront.

2)      Because sales people are afraid to be upfront for fear of getting a “No”.

So, how can you save yourself and your prospect loads of time?

1) Assess if the client is interested – Immediately!

Next time you hear,  “Send me some more information!”Or “Let me think it over!”

Immediately ask the tough question:

“I just want to check with you if my service/product is of interest to you? If not, it will save us both valuable time if you can tell me upfront.”

This way you are giving the client permission to say “NO” and avoid the “unfortunate” part. But you also show that you are serious, have belief in your product and have no interest in chasing the client if they don’t need it.

Most intelligent prospect/ clients will respect that . Who knows? You may even get referrals if you ask for them and might hear “I don’t need it, but I know a friend who might.”

So, with this awareness, are you ready to ask the tough question?

During the 2-days training, using video feedback, the participants were transformed from nervous to confident and from unstructured to persuasive presenters.

Personal Brand

A key message that I shared was that each of us have a personal brand and that our ability to communicate and present effectively is essential to the building of that brand.

A couple of truths that I have observed in my work with multi-national organisations are:

1. It is not the most competent individual that gets promoted but the individual with competence and visibility.
2. The more senior we get, the less we are paid for what we do and more for what we influence others to do.

Feel free to watch the video of my introduction on presentation skills to these young professionals.

If anyone is interested in meeting me to discuss your leadership or executive coaching requirements feel free to contact me via the Self Leadership website contact page www.selfleadership.com.

Look forward to hearing from you – Andrew Bryant

I was greeted at the company by the company’s communications manager who was to show me to the boardroom to meet the CEO. She politely asked me if she could get me anything, perhaps thinking I might need a tea or coffee. My response was, “well actually, I intend to break at about 3pm, could you possibly get me a sandwich as I am starving!” She looked somewhat surprised but at 3:00pm exactly a 12 inch Subway sandwich arrived in the boardroom.

Giving the CEO the opportunity to take a bathroom break I hungrily bit into the sandwich only to be surprised by the fact it was full of jalapeno chillies! Now I normally like spicy food, but it was the surprise that got me. At the end of the day when showing me out, I asked her whether the jalapenos were revenge for being asked to get me a sandwich, “Oh no”, she replied, “I just had it made the way I like it.”

I use this story in trainings to make the point that most often we communicate the way we like to be communicated to. If you prefer people to be direct, you will speak directly – If you prefer people to build a case you will build a case. So a common communication mistake is not considering your audience and communicating in your default or preferred style.

I provide influence training for an international bank and I find that I really need to stress the importance of a flexible approach to communication. Since the client is a bank I use the analogy that everyone has a PIN (personal identification number) that will unlock their resistance and allow you to communicate with them and, mixing my metaphors, each person broadcasts their SSID (a wireless access point identifier) to tell you how to log on to their network.

Leaders, managers, coaches and trainers need to learn to read people’s preferred communication style in order to adapt their communication in order to be understood. It may be arrogance or even stupidity to expect others to always adapt to you. There is a direct correlation between communication and productivity and so your results in work or life will depend on your ability to get a message across.

Can you learn to read people and adapt your communication to get better results? The answer is, of course “yes” So to help you get started here is a list of things to avoid:

Common Communication Mistakes

• Being directive when you want buy in
• Using “I” when you want team effort
• Using “You” when you want to resolve conflict
• Being aggressive or submissive (assertive is the alternative)
• Attempting to influence when your are unclear what you want
• Not finding out what’s important to the other party
• Using only logic without emotion
• Using only emotion without some logic
• Talking down to people
• Asking questions and not listening to the answer

So if you find yourself using any of the above or are not getting the results you want in life and business, then why not contact us to find out how to become an effective and influential communicator?

If you give enough presentations, there’s a good chance that someday you’re going to find yourself the target of an uncooperative or hostile audience member. As in most crisis situations, you will be in good stead to have a plan of how to respond. There are many verbal techniques available which will help you handle hostile or difficult audiences, some of which I am able to outline here. These are all tried and tested over the course of the last 10 years during my own personal training and presentation courses. Use them with confidence – they really work!

1. Questions that keep on coming

One of the most common difficulties you’re likely to encounter is a barrage of questions from a single or several audience members. Sometimes these people really want answers to their questions but at other times the interrupter has a hostile motive.

Usually, this sort of person does not want to attack you personally. On the contrary, the questioner is launching an attack on the material that you are presenting. This is a very important distinction, because the most effective way to attack the material that you are presenting is to draw you off topic into areas that you are not prepared to speak about. Don’t go there –stick to your guns and the messages that you have pre-prepared for yourself.

Short sharp concise answers

The least confrontational way of dealing with a constant stream of questions is to answer each question as briefly as possible. Limit your answers to one breath in length. And before stating your answer, ask yourself if this material will be covered later in your presentation. If it will be, tell the interrupter that the material will be covered later. Don’t expand on your answer, because lengthy replies containing additional details will only serve to give the questioner additional opportunity. After giving your succinct brief answer, go straight into the next topic.

While you may not want to take time to answer unexpected and off the topic questions, if the interrupter is an authority figure, you may feel obligated to do just that and answer the questions. Remember, keeping your answers brief minimises the negative effect of the interruptions and allows you to move on.

Set Limits

Setting limits is a great way to discourage constant interruptions. State the limits at the outset of your delivery and tell the audience why these limits will benefit them.

Acknowledge and Delay

Please don’t ignore a question. Doing so may be taken as a sign of hostility on your part. Even if questions are inappropriate or ill-timed, try to acknowledge them.
If short answers and setting limits haven’t deterred interruptions, acknowledge the question but delay the answer. By using bridging techniques which are words or phrases which allow you to acknowledge and move on, no-one will ever think you rude and dismissive.

2. Off-topic Questions and Discussions

A handful of off-topic questions from your audience shouldn’t pose a problem for you. However, if they are many, a problem may well exist. If the off-topic questions emanate from several people, this could be a sign that your presentation is unsuitable.

If the off-topic questions stem from one person, then your presentation may be unsuitable for that person or the person may be hostile to your material. The interrupter may be trying to make your material look bad because he or she will benefit from its failure.

Ask for Relevance

One technique for dealing with an off-topic question is to ask for its relevance to the current topic. This must be done tactfully, to avoid offending or embarrassing the questioner. The sooner you can relate the question to the current topic, the sooner you can tell the audience member that the answer can be found in another part of your presentation.

Write Down Questions

If there are a stream of off-topic questions that you can’t relate directly to your course material, you could offer the audience the opportunity of writing down their questions in the hope that you will answer as many as possible at the conclusion of your presentation.

3. Confrontational Questions

When dealing with a confrontational question, separate the attitude of the questioner from the content of the question.

Separate Content from Tone and Restate calmly.

Separating the tone of a question from its content defuses a question. If the tone is challenging and you respond to the tone, with a challenging or sarcastic response, you decrease your credibility. Never ever lose your cool. If you display emotion, the game is up.

If however the content poses a legitimate question, and you are able to rephrase and restate the question in a conciliatory way, all confrontation will be defused.
When faced with a confrontational question or statement, pause and look for the legitimate question within it. Restate it and answer it as honestly and completely as you can. You will have turned an obstacle to your advantage.

Address Hostility behind Closed Doors

If defusing hostile comments doesn’t work well, you may need to speak privately with the questioner. Keep the discussion focused strictly on the training process, not on their problem and offer to have a chat with the person at the conclusion of the event.

Remember that if someone or a group of people start being disruptive during your presentation, you won’t be the only one who’ll be annoyed or upset. You can use the audience to support you in dealing with difficult members within it. You are the speaker and therefore the person in control. Don’t let one audience member ruin it for everyone else.

Tips for Answering Difficult Questions:

1. Treat your audience with the respect you’d like to have shown to you. Answer their questions directly and honestly.

2. “I don’t know” is a very acceptable answer to some difficult questions. So relax. Never feel like you do have to know everything.

3. If you’re asked a question and you feel you should know the answer, please consider saying: “Thank you. That’s a very interesting question. I’ll have to get back to you on that, after I’ve spoken to (whomever).”

4. Set a time and a time limit for questions
In any presentation it’s always a good idea to set a time when the audience can ask questions. It’s also good to set a limit to that question time.

5. Never end your presentations with a Q and A session
While it’s great to keep the questions until after you’ve spoken, please make sure that you have the last word. Literally. When you’ve answered questions, be sure to end your presentation with a strong assertion of your main message(s).

Sandy Kaye offers Presentation Skills Training and Media Skills Training in Australia and Singapore with Self Leadership International.

“If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders are clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers.” – Sun Tzu

On May 26-27, 2009  Self Leadership International will be conducting a 2-day “Leadership for Managers” Program in Singapore.

If you are interested in developing your leadership skills and mindset to cope and prosper during with this current economic climate then you should consider this program as an essential investment. Normally we run this program for large multi-national companies but the public run gives the opportunity for SME’s to send their managers for a world class training. This program is also ideal for those MNC’s that want a cost effective program for selected managers.

For full details of the program you can click here or contact Radu at our office on +65 6887 4335.

Benefits include:

• Develop the skills and attitude which will enable you to lead and motivate your people
• Meet and exceed your objectives
• Be able to delegate effectively
• Effectively stimulate high performers
• Anticipate and manage conflict
• Sustain productive working relationships
• Communicate a clear vision
• Develop and sustain a culture of excellence in your team
• Build a committed and highly productive team

Can you afford to miss it?

Communication

Good communication skills are essential to lead yourself and influence others. Poor communication causes pain, conflict, loss of productivity and profit.

Listen to a  podcast on Communication Skills.

To win the communication game you must know and apply the rules of the game; and the #1 rule of communication is that -  All communication occurs inside a frame.

A communication frame gives the listener reference points to know how to handle the information they hear from you. A communication frame points the listener’s mind in a particular direction and when used correctly will create trust and remove misunderstandings.

Any time we say “In terms of …” we set the boundaries of the discussion and hence the frame. Often two or more people in conflict are actually discussing different topics or perspectives, using “in terms of…” allows us to focus on the specific topic or to challenge people who have gone off topic.

For example:

• “In terms of reaching a decision in the next hour, let me make this point…”
• “In terms of us working together in this team, how would you like me to interpret your behaviour?”
• “In terms of our stated budget, do you think this is a wise purchase?”

Here are some other simple examples of communication frames and how to use them:

The Workshop Frame:
“Just work shopping – what if we did…x”. This frame is great for putting ideas out; it reduces reactions because it sets the frame that it is ok for the other person to give input.

The Sharing Frame:
“I’m just sharing, this is the way I feel about… x”. This frame allows you to share your feelings without the other person needing to take your emotional state personally.

The ‘What if’ Frame:
“I know we have never done this before, but what if we did?” This is a great frame for setting for pushing the boundaries and creative thinking.

There are, of course, frames that you already use and many more you could learn to use. The frames we use in language often reflect our frames of mind, do you have a ‘can do’ frame’? Or do you operate from a ‘can’t do’ frame?

Training yourself to become aware of your frames of mind and frames of speech is a fundamental of self-leadership and using the technology of Neuro Semantics (an evolution of NLP) we can set frames for great relationships, health and even wealth.

Want to know more? For Communication Skills Workshops in Singapore, Australia, Malaysia, India or the Middle East  contact us.

These are perennial questions in the field of leadership development and the answers vary depending on who you talk to.

The concept of a leadership pipeline is that as we start supervising/managing we will be more transactional (performance management) and as we move up through the organisation we will become more transformational (visionary/inspiring).

In reality the modern manager must be adept at both transactional and transformational leadership and the the earlier s/he can do both the more successful they will be.

Transactional Leadership is classic management – organising people and resources towards agreed corporate goals. The four elements of transactional leadership are:

1. Goal Setting – creating specific, measurable, acheivable targets that focus effort in line with the corporate vision.
2. Monitoring Performance – making sure goals are achieved. Providing regular performance reviews either in a structured or fluid fashion.
3. Providing Feedback – letting people know how they are doing relevant to the target/benchmark. Good  feedback must be understood, believed and accepted.
4. Developing Careers – By demonstrating genuine interest in others needs, interests and desires. Being able to connect individual aspirations with the needs of the organisation.

Transformational Leadership style  is where the manager engages with others in such a way that the leader and followers raise one another to higher levels of motivation and purpose. The three elements of transformational leadership are:

1. Creating a Vision – motivating, inspiring and influencing others to see a new possibilities for themselves and the company. A clear vision creates passion, commitment and focus.
2. Stimulating the Environment – creating a positive and challenging work environment that causes people to think, re-examine their ideas and find creative alternatives. Such an environment breeds imagination and innovation.
3. Treating People as Individuals -making people feel valued and encouraging them to contribute. Recognising that people have unique talents, strengths and weakness and allowing for these differences without judgment.

Burns (1978) first introduced the concepts of transformational and transactional leadership in his treatment of political leadership – and I wonder what you think of the graphic I chose and the difference in style between former President George W. Bush and President Barack Obama?

At Self Leadership International we use the transactional/transformational leadership concept with it’s seven competencies as part of executive coaching and leadership development programmes. We are based in Singapore but work in Australia, Malaysia, India and the Middle East.

We have a public workshop - Critical Skills for Senior Managers in Singapore, October 2011.

Increasing sales is one of the key actions that is going to help this client weather the recession and profit afterward. After identifying the urgent need to train trainers to equip the sales team with product knowledge and values based selling skills across 14 countries, the business development manager told me, “Yes, we need this but I was told yesterday that there is a freeze on discretionary spending.”

I wanted to yell, “Since when is learning discretionary?”

Of course, I kept my cool and empathised with situation; he knew his company needed to improve their skills and even listed for me the reason why, but his hands were tied (for now).

Now whether you are part of big organisation, or a consultant like me, or are currently laid off, I have some unsolicited advice for you:

NOW is the time to learn, NOW is the time to up skill.
NOW is the time to INVEST in YOUR SELF.
Yes, I know there is a recession, or as I like to call it a “financial adjustment”; but being pessimistic and doing nothing will not get you through it. The media is having a FEAR frenzy and whipping up a storm of bad news, which will create a self-fulfilling prophesy, but you and I have a choice not to participate.
Here’s how…

1. Read – read in your domain. Become an expert on your chosen topic, experts are always in demand.
2. Attend seminars/workshops – listen to experts and as you do think about how you can apply the knowledge to improving your situation.
3. Sell – sell yourself, let people know what you can do and that you are keen to do it, now or when the opportunity arises.
4. Be flexible – offer people different ways to reward you for your effort or store up credits for when times change.
5. Connect – find out who is doing what and how they are doing it. Join LinkedIn or Facebook groups.
6. Contribute – write articles, volounteer, be seen.
7. Add value – yes you may be looking for a paycheck but in this credit crunch nobody is going to pay you unless they see the value. Value first – get paid second.

And number 8, is be patient – this too will pass, so be patient. This is the beginning of the year of the OX so keep plodding forward and you will reach your goal.

The primary author of this blog is Andrew Bryant, CSP PCC, founder of Self Leadership International.  Andrew is a consultant, speaker and author on the topic of Self-leadership, devloping leaders and leadership teams.

Andrew Bryant is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and a Professional Certified Coach (PCC).

 Guest contributors include members of the Self Leadership International team and relevant experts on the topics of self-leadership, coaching.

We welcome your comments and feeback.